Narrated by: The Glorious, All-Knowing, Super Sexy, Totally Single Goddess of Soulmates!
Ahem.
"Previously on Rejected a 1000 Times, I Commited Suicide… And Got 1000 Girlfriends!: Haruka and Noa decided it was finger-poking o'clock and treated poor Ito's cheeks like stress balls. Meanwhile, our dear protagonist had his soul stats glitched so hard, even the system needed therapy. But screw all that! That plotline? Yeah, on hold."
[Cue overly dramatic anime narrator voice]
"For today, dear readers, we're putting serious storytelling in the dumpster, sprinkling it with beach sand, and lighting it on fire. Because it's beach chapter time, baby! And not just any beach chapter! This one's got jiggly physics, nonsensical word angles, watermelon violence, and that one ghost girl trying to figure out if she can tan or not!"
Why?
Because the author ran out of ideas.
Yes. That's right. Beach episodes are the duct tape of novel storytelling. When plot fails, BOOBS prevail. Amen.
But wait! What's this? Who dares interrupt my perfect filler—
"SHUT UP!"
It was none other than our girl-magnet protagonist, Kage Ito himself.
"Shut up, Goddess. This is all YOUR fault. If you didn't dump a harem of emotionally unstable god-tier waifus into my life, maybe I wouldn't be having nosebleeds every five seconds! And besides, that's not happened in the previous chapter."
The narration paused.
"..."
Then—
[POOF]
She vanished like a gacha 5-star you almost pulled.
"F**k you," I muttered, brushing sand off my shorts.
Kage Ito's narration mode: ON.
---
The sun blazed in the sky like it was powered by anime budget. The sand was hotter than my DMs after I went viral. And walking beside me, hand in hand... were my girls.
First up—Aisha. The only school nurse on Earth who looked like she moonlighted as a swimsuit model.
Her white bikini hugged her in all the right places. You know the kind of outfit that makes you believe in God again? That. Her lab coat flowed behind her like some sexy goddess cape, and her ahem "assets" bounced with enough power to violate physics.
"Ito," she purred, pressing her soft arm against mine. "Want me to rub sunscreen on you~?"
"YES—uh—I mean, sure. Casually. No big deal."
I was sweating.
Then, of course, she tripped on a rock.
"A-Ahh—!!"
She fell forward in slow motion, as if time itself bowed to fan service, and landed on her hands and knees, her ass right in my face. I could see everything. EVERYTHING.
I died a little. Not from embarrassment. From happiness.
"P-Pervert! Help me up!" she squeaked, cheeks redder than the sunburn she was about to get.
I helped. I had to.
For science.
---
Mei had reluctantly chosen a two-piece black bikini, clearly under protest. "Don't look, you degenerate," she hissed at me. "I'm only wearing this because Onee-Chan forced me."
She blushed furiously the moment I looked at her.
"D-Don't stare… It's embarrassing."
That's when a sudden gust of wind, like divine fan service intervention, untied her top strings.
"WHAT THE FU—!?"
She froze.
I saw her bare chest for a microsecond before she covered herself and roundhouse-kicked a nearby beach ball into orbit. "NO ONE SAW THAT, RIGHT?!"
I didn't answer. Because my soul had just ascended.
And then Hana. Oh lord.
Twin to Mei, but personality from another planet. Hana, meanwhile, was the embodiment of summer. Her bright yellow bikini was full of frills, but none of them did anything to hide her shockingly thicc proportions. Every step she took sent ripples through her juicy thighs and hips, and she was oblivious to the amount of head-turns she was getting.
"Like what you see, darling~?" She winked. "I picked this one for your eyes."
"Oh! Ice cream! Let's get some!" she cheered, grabbing my arm—and pressing her massive chest right against it.
The crowd of nearby guys and even a few girls glared at me like I had just won the lottery and spat on them. I didn't care.
Because yes. I did win the lottery.
Then came Aoi, my sweet, socially anxious cinnamon roll, who showed up clinging to a giant towel wrapped from neck to knee. The moment she saw me, she shrieked and dove into the nearest umbrella like it was a tactical retreat.
"I-I c-can't do this… T-too much skin!!"
"Aoi," I said gently, walking over. "You look beautiful."
She peeked from her towel. "R-Really…? Then I-I'll try…"
She slowly opened her towel. And just like that, I died again. A pastel pink frilly bikini—innocent, deadly, and a critical hit to my kokoro.
"s-senpai… b-baka…"
Last but not least…
Akemi.
Yes. The ghost girl.
Hovering above the sand like she forgot how gravity works. Wearing a translucent swimsuit that shimmered like mist.
"I stole this from the afterlife. Don't tell the Shinigami."
Her figure? Floaty. Ethereal. And also—mysteriously hot?
"How are you even here?"
"I threatened the narrative."
Fair enough.
Her bikini shifted on its own as if haunted. Her ghostly butt wiggled despite gravity. Men screamed. A child cried. A priest nearby threw holy water and fainted.
Me? I was trying not to pass out.
Not from heatstroke. Not from dehydration.
But from the sheer concentrated chaos of peak anime beach episode energy unfolding in front of me like a cursed visual novel on steroids.
Mei trying to distract herself, she strutted toward the ocean with the confidence of a tsundere trying very hard not to look insecure. Her black bikini hugged her toned body perfectly, but she kept tugging at it like it was going to explode. She waded into the waves, her back to us.
For a glorious 10 seconds, everything was peaceful.
And then—WHIP!—her bikini top flung off like it was launched by a catapult.
"WHAAA—?!" Mei screamed. "My chest! My—WHO TOOK MY TOP?!"
She turned back toward us, flailing in panic and barely covering herself with crossed arms. Her face turned beet red. "THIS IS YOUR FAULT, ITO! STOP STARING!"
Suddenly, she ran toward me and hugged me tightly, trying to cover herself.
As for me, I was trying not to feel her softness on me, but I could barely hold on.
"I'M NOT— I MEAN— I'M TRYING TO RESPECTFULLY APPRECIATE— I MEAN—AAAGHHH!"
"DON'T 'RESPECTFULLY APPRECIATE' ME YOU PERVERT!"
Meanwhile, Akemi cackled in the background. "You guys should really double-knot your strings."
"You little ghost b**ch, that was YOU, wasn't it?!"
"Guilty!"
---
The sand was soft. The un was hot. And Aisha, my stunningly curvy nurse-girlfriend, was walking toward me with a bottle of sunscreen and dangerously jiggly determination.
"Ito~ You forgot to apply lotion! Do you want me to rub it on for you?" she asked sweetly.
"Yes," I said before even breathing.
That's when she tripped.
Her foot caught on a hidden beach shovel—likely planted there by fate itself—and she face-planted right into the sand with a squeal.
THWUMP.
She landed hands down, butt up, in the exact pose you'd see on the cover of a lewd light novel. Her bikini bottoms clung to her like they were begging for censorship. Her thick thighs jiggled, her round rear shimmered in the sunlight, and her back arched just enough to send several old men nearby into cardiac arrest.
"W-Why is it always me!?" Aisha whined, her voice muffled by sand.
Mei turned her head sharply. "Dumb woman, are you trying to seduce him on purpose?"
"I tripped!!" Aisha retorted, her butt still pointing at the gods.
"Then untrip faster! We can see your… your… everything!"
Akemi floated nearby, amused. "Can ghosts get jealous? 'Cause I am."
Adjusting my brain... I mean me, I walked toward Aisha.
"Ito..."
I extended my hand toward her, and she took it without any hesitation.
---
Aisha sat beside me on the beach towel, her white bikini clinging to her curves like it had signed a loyalty pact. Her black hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, a few strands sticking adorably to her sun-kissed face. Her long legs crossed beneath her, smooth and shining, and her breast perfection defied gravity.
"Alright, Kage," she said, flashing that teasing nurse-smile. "Take your shirt off."
I blinked. "I mean… you usually ask me that after dinner."
She giggled. "No funny business, I'm applying sunscreen. Do you want sunburned abs or girlfriend-approved abs?"
"…Do I get both?"
"I'm going to squish your face."
Before I could reply, she'd already poured a generous amount of lotion onto her palms and lathered them together with the grace of a spa goddess.
Her hands pressed against my back, and I stiffened — and not from cold lotion.
"Yikes, Aisha!" I said, squirming. "You're cold!"
"You're the one squirming like a schoolboy seeing thighs for the first time." Her voice dropped into a seductive lilt. "Or is it because of the way my hands slide down your back like this?"
I gulped. "This feels like foreplay. Should I be concerned?"
She leaned in, whispering into my ear, "Wanna go for round four tonight and make sure it is?"
I choked. "Aisha!"
"What? I'm just helping you 'relax your muscles'," she purred.
I looked around to make sure the others weren't watching. Hana and Mei were bickering over shaved ice, Aoi was staring at a crab like it offended her existence, and Akemi was floating upside down in the air with sunglasses on. Classic.
"You're totally enjoying this, aren't you?" I muttered.
"Hmm, maybe." Aisha slid her hands over my shoulders. "But it's not my fault your body is easy to touch. Besides," she added with a wink, "I've touched every inch of it already… haven't I?"
"You mean physically or emotionally?"
She smiled innocently. "Both. And also deeply. Like... womb-deep."
"YOU—!" I turned red. "You promised not to bring that up in public!"
She laughed so hard she nearly fell over. "I lied. I always bring it up."
"…I'm beginning to question this relationship."
"Too late, loverboy. Now turn around, it's your turn."
She handed me the bottle, her smile turning mischievous. "Let's see if you can handle me."
I squeezed the lotion into my hands, only for way too much to squirt out and splat directly onto her cleavage.
A beat of silence.
"…That was not intentional," I said, frozen.
Her cheeks flushed a cute shade of pink, but she smirked. "Intentional or not… clean it up, lover."
"I—uh—yes, Aisha."
My hands met her stomach first, smoothing the lotion across her toned skin. I tried not to stare too much, but—this was like trying not to stare at Mount Fuji while standing at its base.
I slowly worked up, circling around her ribs, and—
"Careful, my boobs are ticklish," she giggled.
"…That's a trap."
"Maybe."
As I rubbed lotion onto her shoulders and arms, I made the mistake of glancing down. Her bikini had slipped just a little from all the movement, revealing more than intended.
A drop of sweat rolled down my cheek. "This is dangerous."
"Only if you stop."
I reached her back, fingers kneading gently, and she sighed in bliss.
"Hmm… you're getting good at this."
"You should see how well I handle stress after this."
She tilted her head back, eyes fluttering. "You're dangerously close to earning a night on top."
"I accept this quest."
"Good. Just don't forget the inner thighs."
I blinked. "You serious?"
She wagged a finger. "Kidding. Mostly. Unless you want to…"
"…Are we still at the beach?"
A moment later, we heard Mei scream in the distance.
"MY ICE CREAM HIT A CRAB AND IT'S CHASING ME!"
Then Hana shouted, "SAVE ME, ITO! THERE'S A NAKED SEAGULL!"
Akemi floated over casually. "The seagull's mine now. I named him Kazuo."
We both burst out laughing.
I wiped my hands and offered her a bottle of water. "Truce? Before you get me arrested for public indecency?"
She leaned in, pecking my cheek. "Fine. But round four tonight is non-negotiable."
---
END OF CHAPTER : 39 : BEACH! : PART : 1 : ECCHI BEACH!
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A/N: Fan Service the chapter with comment and power stones.
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