Oh, professor,' he gushed, feigning distress, 'I'm so sorry, here,' he raised his wand again, 'let me try again.'
'I think that's quite enough, Mr Potter,' she replied, her voice very strained. 'Finish copying out the chapter, I'm going to have to go and change.' The door of the classroom swung slowly shut, then the class burst into laughter.
'That was brilliant, Harry,' Neville grinned.
'Thank you,' he inclined his head graciously.
Umbridge didn't return before the class ended, and not a single word was written on she'd departed. Even Hermione's quill found itself on the desk untouched, but that was probably because she was busy scolding Ron for not being able to go a lesson without getting detention for something so stupid. Harry suspected he would have ended up with one eventually, just so Umbridge could make an example of someone, but he'd made it easy for her.
He trailed Neville, Hermione and Ron back to the common room, vaguely aware of the heated discussion they were holding and Hermione waving the Defence Against the Dark Arts curriculum animatedly at Neville who was trying to convince them of something.
'Why can't you act more like Harry does, then?' Hermione's scolding of Ron had only been interrupted by whatever Neville had suggested.
'Because she deliberately tries to get me in trouble,' Ron spat. 'It's not even close to fair.'
'Well you should just ignore her,' Hermione sighed. 'Now you have to have detention with her, and I bet she comes up with something horrible for you.'
'Mimbulus Mimbletonia,' Neville said to the Fat Lady, who swung aside for them all to enter the common room.
'We can't just let her get away with spouting all that nonsense,' Ron declared, 'she's poisoning the students against Dumbledore and when You-Know-Who attacks he'll take everyone by surprise and we won't even be able to defend ourselves because she wants us to run away.'
'So we practise the spells on our own,' Neville suggested.
'We tried that,' Ron disagreed. 'We'll just get detentions, and now she's in control of them McGonagall can't overrule her.'
'So don't get caught,' Neville shrugged. 'I know somewhere we can go she won't find us.' He shot a glance back at Harry who nodded to let him know it was ok.
'Where?'
'It's on the seventh floor,' Neville told him, 'you can cast all the defensive magic you want there and she'll never know if we don't want her to.' 'Will you help us with our shield charms?' Hermione asked. She was speaking quite humbly for her, Harry thought.
'I never thought I'd see you asking Neville for help,' Ron laughed, 'but seriously, Nev, will you?'
'Yeah,' he nodded, looking a little uncomfortable. 'I'll try. We-er-we can go now if you want?'
'Let's do it,' Ron agreed, clapping Neville on the shoulder. 'We can grab Dean and Seamus from the Great Hall on the way.'
Harry drifted past them on his way up to the dormitories, that was every boy from their room, so he had a chance to speak to Sirius while they were gone.
The mirror Snape had passed to him was a the bottom of his trunk, disillusioned and slid underneath the lining so anyone who might search through it wouldn't be able to feel the glass.
It worked in a very similar way to his locket, they worked in almost identical way, only Sirius was a lot less attractive company than Fleur.
'Sirius,' Harry whispered into the mirror, fogging its surface with his breath. It flared white and he hurriedly wiped the misting off with the sleeve of his robes.
'Harry,' his godfather sounded both overjoyed and relieved at the same time. 'You took your time?'
'I've been busy,' Harry explained apologetically. 'Are you still safe under Dumbledore's fidelius charm?'
'Yes,' Sirius looked quite displeased. 'I'm tucked up all safe and sound in this dirty house where I can't do anything that might alert the Ministry to my location.'
'At least you're safe,' Harry dementors in there, are there?'
smiled.
'No
'Had a boggart and a whole flock of doxys to get rid of when Remus helped me tidy over the summer, but for the large part this house is mostly danger free, as long as you remember not to go in the library or to touch anything in a glass display case.'
'What kind of house are you in?' Harry asked, curious. It sounded like a repository for dark books and dangerous items.
'The home of a most ancient and noble family,' Sirius grinned. 'I can't tell you much about it, obviously, but I can tell you it's in London, and that the Order of the Phoenix is using it as its headquarters. Only useful thing I've been able to do,' he added darkly.
'I have no idea what the Order of the Phoenix is,' Harry pointed out.
'You don't?' Sirius looked perplexed. 'Why haven't you been told? Your father, mother, Remus and I were all part of it in the last war. It's a group Dumbledore started to oppose the Death -Eaters in ways the Ministry can't.'
Dumbledore's followers, Harry surmised. I knew he had his own secret group.
'What does it do?' Harry asked, hoping for a glimpse into Dumbledore's plan. The headmaster had not spoken a word to him since the end of last year.
'Mostly we warned the Ministry of where attacks would come and guarded places of crucial importance, but right now we're trying to make sure the Ministry opens it's eyes before it's too late. Well, all the other members are, I just sit around in here disposing of dangerous artefacts and priceless family heirlooms. One day I'm going to get that portrait, too,' he mused, an almost dreamy expression in his eyes.
'Sounds fun,' Harry smirked, knowing Sirius must be bored out of his mind.
'So why have you been so busy?'
'The Ministry appointed Dolores Umbridge as the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, she's here to make sure we don't learn anything useful and to try and undermine support for Dumbledore in Britain's next generation of students. I'm making her life difficult,' he explained.
'I've heard of her,' Sirius' face twisted in distaste. 'She's a half-blood who's obsessed with trying to be as pure as possible, hates magical creatures, non-humans, muggles and anyone who associates with them. Umbridge is personally responsible for some of the most bigoted pieces of legislation ever to pass through the Wizengamot, including a law that makes it all but impossible for Remus to get a job anywhere.'
'I know how much she hates anyone she believes to be less than human,' he agreed icily. It took all his self-control and occlumency exercises to stop him from cursing her when she spewed her prejudiced drivel at the students, but he knew Fleur would be disappointed in him if he lost his temper over that.
'Be careful of her, Harry,' Sirius warned. 'She's only a half blood, but still managed to rise quickly through the ranks of the Ministry from obscurity to a position that's never been held by anything other than a pure-blood before. Fudge is a bumbling idiot incapable of seeing beyond his own aspirations as Minister, but Umbridge is a nasty, slippery piece of work with connections in all the wrong corners of the Wizengamot.'
'Duly noted,' Harry grinned. 'So openly embarrassing her in front of a whole class would be a bad idea?'
'What did you do?' Sirius sighed. His attempt to act like a responsible adult lasted only as long as it took him to remember all his own misdeeds and a wide grin soon spread across his face.
'I spilt ink everywhere and when I tricked her into giving me permission to try and vanish it, I sprayed it all over her instead,' Harry explained, smiling proudly.
Sirius roared with laughter. 'Good one, Harry.'
'She didn't look very happy with me, but I did nothing wrong.'
'It was a bad idea,' Sirius told him, remembering he was meant to be the mature adult of the two of them, 'best to keep your head down until things get straightened out with the Ministry. We don't need to make things worse than they are.'
'I'll stay out of sight as much as I can,' Harry promised.
There was a loud thud from Sirius' side of the mirror and a horrible shrieking started up in the background.
'I have to go,' he told Harry, 'but use the mirror whenever you want. I've nothing else to do around here except shut that painting up and try and think of ways to destroy it.'
'Bye, Sirius.' Harry held the mirror further away from himself to wave. 'Shut up, you old hag,' he heard his godfather roar before the mirror returned to showing only his only reflection.
Perhaps I should ask him to tell me how he gets rid of the painting, Harry mused.
It could be useful for figuring out how to strip away some of the more annoying enchantments on Slytherin's frame.
I still need to buy another clock, Harry realised with a groan.
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