Chapter 17
'Damn it." I had been a fool. I should have realized—I was on its hunting grounds, stealing its food, disrupting its territory.
Of course, it would start hunting me.
'I should leave—go somewhere far into the city.' I had silver to hide out for at least a few years.
'Run.' The thought clawed at me. I had the silver. No one would stop me. I could disappear, live like a rich man somewhere far away. Never struggle again. Never bleed again.
'I could-'
No.
What was this nonsense filling my head? My father was dead. My cultivation dreams were all but up in smoke and I was going to give up? If I run now, I'll keep running forever. If I fight, at least I'll die on my feet.
What kind of man hides like a coward? Would I spend my whole life running? Could I even face my father in the afterlife?
Tell him that not only did I fail my promise to him but that I also gave up at the barest roadblock?
And I wanted to be a cultivator? Would I back down as a cultivator too? Would I shy away when a rival decided to fight me for my place in a sect? Or a resource I wanted?
If I'm a dog of a son, then what does that make my father?
I threw my fist against a boulder. Bad move. My hand started bleeding. This was starting to become a habit.
I still had a few scars from when I had last hit something in anger or frustration, or some other foolish emotion, one of them splitting open again, leaking warm blood.
I clenched my fist but forced myself to stop.
I exhaled, flexing my fingers. No more foolish injuries. I needed both hands to kill.
Damn it. We all die in the end—better to die fighting. At least I'd die chasing my dreams.
I was going to fight.
But first, I needed knowledge. There was only one person in the district who might have it—Healer Kim. She was the only one I could think of who might know something more than fairytales about the spirit beast and would be willing to talk to a peasant, the rest would all be nobles or maybe Azul.
If she didn't know anything, well, I was ready to die anyway.
I knocked on her door. She didn't come. Probably sleeping.
I knocked again. This time I could hear shuffling.
"Healer Kim" I screamed in a whisper. "Can you come to the door."
After some slow shuffling, she was at the door.
She inhaled. Gasped. "Khan!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me in. "What happened to you?"
She forced me onto a chair she dragged near, which was surprising for such a frail woman.
"I was hunting."
"I've seen you after you've hunted before and that's not how you looked."
I sighed, then I began to tell her about what I was doing…
"Are you out of your mind, child?"
"That's not the point." I leaned forward. "I'm not asking for your permission. I need to know how to kill it."
"You stubborn—"
"I'm already dead if I don't fight."
She opened her mouth, then closed it. "You don't look like you came here to get patched up."
A sharp sting tore through my hand. I stiffened, clenching my jaw, swallowing a hiss as she put some alcohol on my wounds.
"I know how well-read you are and… well, do you know anything about the spirit beast?"
"Are you trying to hunt it?" She put her hand up to her gaping mouth. "I'm not helping you go kill yourself."
"You don't get it, the beast is hunting me now. The only other choice I have is to hide out here in the district."
She raised an eyebrow as if to say… 'So? What was the problem with that?'
"I have to slay it."My voice was raw, desperate—craving, like an addict reaching for just one more... "What would you have me do? Waste away and live out my days? Hiding like a cowering dog?"
"I came here to ask your help so I don't just go in completely blind. I'm perfectly willing to go in there and kill it or die in the pursuit."
She crossed her arms. I crossed mine.
She raised her eyebrow and I raised mine.
"I'm not sending you to your death."
"You think I don't know that? I don't care. Tell me how to kill it. If I go now and die, so be it. If I live, I'll be one of the few mortal men to ever kill a spirit beast." 'Take that cultivators!'
I'm going to die regardless, I'd much rather not wait for death to come for me."
"What's the point of all this? I've seen your work these past few months. You work like a dog and barely enjoy it. You don't even taste the fruit of your own labor.
Stay here, that blacksmith is a good man. He might even take you on as an apprentice.
Find a wife."
I shook my head as she spoke. "I have made promises to myself and someone I love. And I'd rather not live my life while I don't fulfill them."
She raised her eyes to the roof and put the back of her hand on her forehead, something she had been doing a lot throughout our conversation. "Oh, the folly of the young."
"You stubborn child…" She sighed heavily, rubbing her temples before finally meeting my gaze. "You really won't let this go, will you?"
My silence was enough of an answer so she continued.
"Fine. I know what type of spirit beast you're dealing with."
I leaned forward. "Those things are so strong that any weakness you could find would still be hard for you to exploit, regardless of how skilled you are.
"If it's been hunting beavers in such high numbers and has now turned to hunting you, it's likely a mother protecting her newborns. She's weaker than usual—but still strong enough to kill you.
Spirit beasts can be vengeful. Your hunts made it see you as a threat, a thief stealing its food. And since it left a head at your camp, it's done with warnings."
That tracked. I nodded, urging her to continue.
"You'll find her young near water," she said. "She won't stray far from them, especially while they're still weak. But if you're going after her, you need to be careful."
She raised a finger. "First, mask your scent. She'll track you long before she ever falls for a trap. Roll in mud, burn bitter herbs—whatever it takes to cover your trail. If she catches your scent near her young, she won't hesitate. She'll come straight for your throat."
Another finger. "Second, traps alone won't be enough. Even if you set stakes inside them, she'll just tear her way out with a few wounds. You need a plan for when she's cornered."
A third. "Third, if you do manage to trap her, you'll only get one shot. Just one. Miss, and you die."
Finally, she pressed her palm flat on the table. "The only weak spot is the back of the neck, between the gills. If you can strike there with Oakre's blood, it'll burn her insides like fire—but it won't kill her instantly. She'll go berserk before she dies. Be ready for that."
I absorbed her words, already piecing together a plan in my head.
Even with all this, it would be a battle against the odds. But if I let it stop me now, then I'll let anything stop me.
Thank you healer, how much do I owe you?
"I'd much rather you did not go if you are that grateful."
"..."
"You've done enough for Henely and his family and that's enough for me, that man has been through a lot"
"Thank you so much."
"If I don't make it… just know I was grateful."