Riiiing, Riiiing! —On a dresser, an alarm clock began to ring; its display read seven o'clock.
The young man who had been sleeping until then opened his eyes abruptly and, with his right hand, turned off the alarm clock.
—Aaaah… a new day in this shit called life —said the young man as he got up from his bed.
After rubbing my eyes furiously, I started my day like any other. To fully wake up, I decided to take a cold shower. I took my time with it; only when the clock in my bathroom struck half past seven did I decide to call it a day. Back in my bedroom, I searched my closet for the clothes I would wear, which I had laid out the day before so as not to waste time.
For underwear, simple black boxers; for the bottom, black leggings. These looked like denim, but were flexible and allowed me to walk comfortably. For the top, a white polo shirt.
After putting on my clothes, I looked at myself in my full-length mirror. "Not bad, not bad. The butt is a little lacking, but it can be fixed with more focused exercise," I nodded as I checked the firmness of my glutes.
Already dressed, I put on a pair of black VANS sneakers and sorted out the rest of my appearance. After that, I was ready to start my day. I grabbed my set of keys from the key rack by the front door. On my way out, I made sure to lock my door and went to take the elevator to my floor. I pressed the button to call it and after a few moments, it opened in front of me, only to find someone inside.
—Good morning, Edy. How are you? —said a young girl.
She was wearing a tight red dress that was very tight around her slender body. In her hand hung a recently released LV handbag. Designer sunglasses covered her forehead and part of her beautiful blonde hair. She was a very beautiful girl, that's what anyone who saw her would say, but what most wouldn't know about her was that what she was wearing was given to her by several men who had her eating out of her hand. A bunch of "simps" in my opinion, who would never get anything from her in exchange for spending so much money.
Perfect, the person I least wanted to meet: Luisa, the typical self-interested woman who only looks for a man to cling to in order to suck everything out of him, just like a mosquito. Although, at least, the mosquito does it to survive; this chick only does it to avoid doing something with her life.
—Hi, Luisa. I'm fine —I replied with a friendly smile as I entered the elevator and sat down next to her.
—How have you been at work? I heard you got a promotion.
Of course you heard it; if it wasn't the case, you wouldn't be talking to me. You never cared to have any interaction with me, it's only now that I got a big promotion and my salary has gone up that you're willing to give me the eye. If you didn't have relatives at the top of the company I work for, I wouldn't even bother entertaining you.
—Hahaha, that's true. My boss finally saw my potential and decided to promote me.
We continued our casual chat for the rest of the time until I reached the lobby. Once there, without giving her a chance to say more, I said goodbye to her. After walking away, I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.
"She's quite the shallow girl, really. Who cares if her bag is no longer fashionable? A bag is for storing things; it may not be fashionable, but it still serves its purpose," I said quietly to myself as I walked to the underground garage.
Within a few minutes I arrived at my private parking space.
—Hey, babe. Let's go for a walk —I said with a smile.
In front of me, a black 2025 Kawasaki Ninja ZX-4R 400 shone under the room's LED lights. It had cost me all my savings, but I could finally enjoy riding a bike with this power and style. I had already raced it on a circuit with some friends a few weekends ago. The adrenaline it gave me was spectacular.
I grabbed my motorcycle jacket from next to the bike and put it on. Next, I put on my helmet, one with the best safety certifications—safety first. With everything ready, it was time to turn it on.
—Rumm Rumm! —I started the bike and revved it up to warm it up.
What a nice purr… Oops, I'm late.
After checking the time, without wasting any more time, I left the garage and headed towards my appointment. On the way, I could enjoy the wind hitting me, the feeling of being free. Whenever I could, I accelerated to the maximum, of course, being careful not to cause an accident. With my Kawasaki, it took me less than an hour to reach my destination.
After leaving my bike in a nearby parking lot, I arrived at a cute coffee shop called "Enchanted Coffee." A two-story coffee shop, with its second floor being a very nice rooftop to enjoy a coffee outdoors. That, along with their nice assortment of their own coffees, ideal blends for every customer's emotional state, made it my favorite place to enjoy a coffee.
Although the coffee is good, I don't understand why more people are naming their businesses in English, when English is not the standard language in this country... I guess Roy likes to feel modern. I shrugged at this passing thought.
—Good morning, Edgy. Same as always? —the owner of the café said to me.
—Sure, Roy. Give me two this time, I'm waiting for someone.
—Oh, who's the lucky lady who got you to leave your routine or come out of your man cave, as you call it?
—I have no idea. It was a blind date, I only know her name. It was Gera who set us up. He told me I'd be surprised with her. You know how he is, I wouldn't be surprised if it was one of his pranks.
Roy laughed at my comment. It wasn't the first time Gera had done something like that to me. At least I found it entertaining. I would then get back at him by playing a prank on him and then he would return the joke to me. That was our common interaction since we graduated from college.
After receiving my order from Roy, I headed to the second floor to wait for my appointment.
It's eight forty. We're supposed to meet at nine. He should be here any minute.
Half an hour later…
Maybe you're a little late. It happens sometimes, traffic is annoying.
Another half hour later…
Fuck him. I'm out of here. I have better things to do on my day off than wait for a late person.
Just as I was getting ready to get up and leave, my date deigned to show up.
"Hi, are you Edgy, Gera's friend?" the beautiful blonde in front of me said in a monotone. What a bitch, she doesn't even apologize for being late.
—Yes, it's me. You should be Kim —I said with a polite smile.
—Kimberly. Only my friends call me Kim —she said emphatically.
And only my close friends call me Edgy, and I didn't say anything to you about it, did I? Ah... This is going to be one hell of a date. Damn Gera, you'll pay for this.
After that horrible introduction, I invited her to sit down and handed her the coffee I had ordered for her, which she simply spit out after tasting it.
"What is this crap? And why is it so cold?" she complained like a diva while using a napkin to wipe her mouth.
"It's called 'Mystical.' It's a fruit-scented cappuccino. As for why it's cold, it's because I ordered it at the time we agreed to arrive," I said politely, but with a bulging vein on my forehead, as I wiped the cappuccino he'd spit on me with a napkin.
"You should have asked for something better," he said condescendingly.
We continued the date chatting about some trivial things, like fashion, makeup, movie and music stars, complaints from her "friends". Yes, the whole conversation revolved around her talking and talking without allowing me to change to a topic of my liking.
At some point, already tired of all this, I decided to ask him a very important question for me.
"Do you like anime?" I asked him seriously.
She gave me a stunned look at my abrupt question. After a few seconds to process it, she replied:
—Of course not. Anime is for childish brats who can't do anything with their lives. People who like it are complete losers, who don't care about their appearance, who are obsessed with plastic dolls and drawings. Besides…
So he started ranting about how people who liked anime were trash and should die, that they were disgusting and that he would never want to hang out with someone like that.
I just nodded along to everything she said. When she finished, I simply stood up and prepared to leave.
—Where are you going? —she asked me after I took a few steps.
—Get out of here. I thought that was what you wanted. After all, you just criticized me for more than ten minutes.
After saying that, I left without waiting for her to speak. Ah… What a bummer. I wasted more than two hours having to put up with the kind of girl I hate the most: a shallow girl, hypocritical with her "friends". Besides the fact that she didn't even apologize for wasting so much of my time, she even criticized my taste in coffee as garbage. It's okay that she doesn't like it, but it didn't cost her anything to say that she didn't like it. Was there a need to spit it in my face?
And of course, I had to criticize so many anime fans. Sure, there are many who go to extremes. I myself have met several, but the fact of criticizing everyone just because of the stereotype seems annoying to me.
I shook my head to forget the bad experience. After mounting my bike, I went to continue my daily routine. Now that I had cleared several hours by getting rid of that annoying woman, I could use my time more productively.
After dozens of minutes, I arrived at my usual gym.
—Hi, Edgy. Didn't you say you weren't coming today because you had an appointment? —the receptionist said mockingly.
—Don't mention it to me, Ana. I went on the date, but it was a complete disaster, as you can see from my clothes. I slipped out instead and decided to come hang out —I answered as I put my things in my locker and grabbed my workout clothes that I had left there.
"If you keep this up, you'll end up single forever," she said mockingly as she looked at the coffee stains on my outfit.
—Oh… that's a shame. Looks like I'll have to resort to an attractive receptionist I know. Unfortunately, it seems she's not interested — I said regretfully, shrugging and giving her a wink.
—Hahaha, you're not fooling anyone. I may be attractive, but you've never seen me that way.
—You know me well. I'm actually attracted to you, but not in a romantic way. Plus, I like you enough that I don't want to ruin our relationship over something as trivial as sex.
—Wow… You flatter me for not comparing me to those bitches you have affairs with —Ana said, rolling her eyes.
"I wouldn't say they're sluts. They just know how to recognize the product," I said, striking bodybuilding poses, highlighting the well-worked muscles he had. They may not have been bulky, but they were balanced between strength and endurance, the physique of a parkour athlete.
"They were sluts looking for an experience their middle-aged husbands couldn't provide," Ana said with a scornful smile.
Our eyes met for a couple of seconds, and out of nowhere we started laughing, only to stop after several minutes.
—Well, I'll see you later, Ana. I'm going to sweat out the frustration from this morning's appointment, I said as I headed to the exercise machines.
For the next hour, I focused on working out the muscle group I was targeting today, along with some glute-boosting exercises. After reaching my breaking point, I decided to stop.
With difficulty, I went to the showers to wash myself. Then, I changed into the clothes I had been wearing when I arrived and decided to return to my apartment to rest.
—Take care, Edgy. Don't forget safety. There are always reckless drivers who can cause accidents.
—I'll be careful, thanks for your concern —I waved goodbye to Ana and left.
After storing my bike in my garage, I headed up to my apartment. Once inside, I was finally able to relax. I locked the door and put my keys away before heading to my "man cave."
Flipping the light switch, I could see the entire room: a space measuring more than fifteen meters by ten meters. One wall was filled with shelves of light novels and collectible anime girl figurines. There was a dedicated section for a cabinet with a thirty-inch screen and state-of-the-art gaming consoles. Nearby were several black and white leather armchairs that I used when my friends came over to hang out. There was also a mini bar with various types of drinks: whiskey, vodka, rum, and wine. No beer, of course; I've never liked the taste of it.
In one corner of the room was my work computer: a gaming PC on which I had spent a lot of money just for the sake of showing off that I had the best components, although I had never taken it to its full capacity.
I went into my cave and relaxed in one of the armchairs.
—Let's see, what should I watch this time? I think the new episode of the slime anime was coming out today. I might as well watch it. I hope they don't adapt the light novel badly. Hmm… I still have to watch the last five episodes. I hope they're done with the annoying meetings —I said as I turned on the flat screen and connected it to the platform to watch translated anime.
...Are you serious? So many episodes into the third season and they're still going through the tedious meetings. Sure, there are meetings in the light novel, but they're not completely necessary. Even if you want them to appear in the anime, at least have them do something besides just sitting there waving their hands and spouting information for ten-plus minutes. That's boring! —I pulled my hair in frustration.
Now I understand why the guys told me that watching this season was a waste of time. It's basically the light novel narrated with drawings, and after reading it a couple of times I didn't feel like watching it all again. I would only reread the interesting parts if I had the need.
After wasting a couple of hours of my life watching political meetings in a world where politics doesn't give a shit because there are immensely powerful guys who don't give a shit what powerless ants say about them, I decided to watch something else.
Between twists and turns I ended up watching once again the anime about revolutionaries trying to overthrow their empire for supposedly good reasons.
If there's one thing I like about this anime where the plot is so boring, it's the presence of the Teigus, especially "Incursio". The concept of a dragon that can alter its body to suit its needs seems great to me. The whole super dangerous species thing is extremely interesting. It's a shame the author left that plot out.
Oh, I can't forget Esdeath either. That kind of girl really does attract me. Not just because of her looks, but because of her strength and always-on-top attitude, plus her caring side. I found her very sexy, at least the anime version. According to Gera, the manga version took another turn that I'm not aware of.
"What time is it?" I asked myself as I looked at the time on my phone.
It was half an hour before I was supposed to meet up with the guys. I had to get ready. I turned off everything in my cave and went to prepare the things I had to bring. But before that, I had to change my clothes. The ones I was wearing were stained with coffee, courtesy of some annoying chick.
...
"I'm here, bitches! Praise me, I brought the drinks," I yelled to the group of six or so young people over twenty years old, while holding a cooler full of bottles of alcohol and VOLT for mixing.
"Yes, yes. Praise be to our great and magnificent Edgy," Gera said with a roll of his eyes.
—Don't even talk about it. I haven't forgotten the date you suggested to me —I said, annoyed.
—How did it go? Did Gera send you on another horrible date? —another friend named Gus said. —Do you even need to ask that? The answer is obvious from his face —Luis said.
We all nodded at what Luis said, even Gera.
—Oh, come on. It couldn't have been that bad, Gera said.
Irritated by the memory, I began to tell the boys the whole situation.
"What a bitch," all my friends said in unison.
—I know, right? I insult all of you, you bunch of filthy otakus —I said, laughing at them.
—Hey, that includes you. You may be more attractive than us, but you're essentially the same —said Pedro indignantly.
—I don't deny it. I've never needed approval from people who follow stereotypes without knowing anyone. That's why I prefer to hang out with you.
—So what's new? Any interesting anime? —I said as I sat down with the rest of them, starting to prepare drinks for everyone.
—Nothing good. They've just been putting out the usual cliché isekais from every season. They don't even try to make them interesting anymore. Who would want to watch an isekai about a vending machine? —Gus said, shaking his head.
We all agreed. Isekais were increasingly going down the drain in terms of plot.
—I miss the time when Overlord came out . There may have been some absurd isekai, but there were some good ones, at least in the mangas —I said after taking a swig of vodka mixed with blackberry VOLT.
—If you could go to an isekai, which one would you like to go to? —Gera asked out of nowhere.
—Oh… he asked the question! —said Luis.
—Shhh, this is when he tells us how shitty his life is and why it would be better to go to another fictional world. Hahahaha —I said in an amused tone.
—Hey, I'm happy with my life. I just asked the question to pass the time.
—Okay, you start, then Luis and so on. But please, no reincarnating with powers from other works. There are already too many fanfics of that kind.
Overlord world . I would reincarnate in the original world and become a pro at the Yggdrasil game. I would join Momonga's guild, but at the last moment, when the servers are about to close, I would trick him into giving me the guild leadership and kick him out. In the new world, it would be just enjoying all the female NPCs, with the maximum power in that world," Gera said with a proud tone.
We all rolled our eyes.
—You got that from a fanfic. I'm sure I've read one with a similar plot. Would your chosen race be a dragon or a true vampire, by any chance?
—Ha… ha… ha. You can't deny that it would be a good plan. Of course, if you didn't die in the first world from pollution or poverty.
—Is it a good plan? Yes. Is it cliché? Also —I said amused.
—My turn. I would be reborn in Kazuma's world. I would look for him and when he was about to die from cardiac arrest, I would avoid him and commit suicide instead. When I got to Aqua, I would wish for Eris to be my partner and that would be it. With her, everything would be easy —Luis said, boasting about his idea.
—Ignoring how complicated it would be to steal the opportunity from Kazuma, it sounds viable or interesting.
—Now me. I would be reborn in One Piece . Then I would seek to consume the "Vampire-species Bat Zoan" fruit. No matter if it appeared long before the plot or when Luffy had set out to sea, that fruit would be available. Then I would seek out Kaido to join him and learn Haki in his pirate group. With his way of valuing talents and with that devil fruit, I would have a nice and safe place to develop.
—And he dies as soon as he goes out to sea because of a storm. Hahaha.
—There's more. You forgot that only the scholars of Ohara know the location of the island where that fruit is. That's not including that only Robin is known to know that information, and that was in the time period when Ohara was destroyed. If he reincarnates long before Robin is born, he's screwed.
...
We continue to tell how we would like to be reborn. Some were interesting, others absurd, where the stars needed to align for the plan to work.
My turn was last.
—The rest have already told their reincarnation. It's your turn, Edgy. Show us your high intelligence, your extensive fanfiction knowledge, your discipline and meticulousness, along with your Aizen-like plans upon plans —Gera said mockingly.
A little annoyed by that description of me, I decided to speak.
—To start, I would reincarnate in the Cardinal world of Tensura . Not only because in it you can acquire the much desired immortality, but because anyone with enough time and determination can rise to the top. It's not like in Naruto , where you absolutely need to have Otsutsuki blood. Since it's a reincarnation, it means that I have access to a unique ability from the beginning due to the rules of their world when crossing world barriers, just like Rimuru did. I would choose an ability with a lot of versatility, which would be something like the Tyrant from Akame ga Kill : great survival capacity, the ability to adapt to their needs and great vitality, essential things to survive in a world plagued by monsters. As a bonus, I would like to reincarnate into a monster, since they have an easier way to become strong simply by consuming more magicules.
Once in that world, I would do something similar to Rimuru. First I would start hunting all kinds of monsters to become stronger quickly. In parallel, I would try to acquire skills that are indispensable in my opinion, such as: thought acceleration, analytical evaluation, mana perception and material creation. Once I reached a certain strength, I would try to acquire as much knowledge as I can about magic, as well as relevant information about magical items, minerals and magical plants. To do this, I would perhaps try to steal it from the human kingdoms or search the ruins of the "Super Magic Kingdom" that Milim destroyed. There must be a lot of high-level knowledge there. As a last resort, I would look for Ramiris. It would only be a matter of bribing her with sweets and she would be willing to teach me.
Already with a lot of knowledge, I would do what was necessary to become a Demon Lord seed. I would join the council if invited, which is very possible, and look for a way to collect the ten thousand souls to awaken as a True Demon Lord, obviously in a way that would not cause Guy Crimson to kill me for breaking the balance. That would be all. With that strength, as long as I didn't stir up trouble, no one would bother me, and those who did would be easily killed by me.
—…It's obvious that you read the entire Tensura Wiki . Even I, who just finished reading the light novel, didn't remember so many things.
Everyone started to applaud me mockingly. To keep up the atmosphere, I bowed politely.
—Thank you, thank you. I'm here every weekend. Hahaha.
—Hey, you didn't mention which girl you'd be staying with. With so many beauties in that world, no one would believe you if you said you wouldn't pursue any of them —Gus said with a smile.
—You know me well. Of course I have someone in mind. How about you try to guess who it is?
—Milim!
—She's not bad. I can see her as a friend, but not romantically.
—Velzard!
—That girl is obsessed with Guy. I don't get involved in that shady water.
—Velgrynd!
—The same as Velzard, only with Rudra.
—The white primordial! You love white haired women. He has an obsession with order. Plus, he's a demon known for his planning and trickery. Surely he's to your taste.
—I don't deny that there would be a possibility with her. It would be a matter of when in the story I would meet her. I remember that she became nicer after losing her friend Blanche. Before that, she was very similar to Violet and Jaune, which is not to my liking.
"Stop acting cool and tell us," someone said, and everyone agreed.
—Well, it's Luminous Valentine.
"Really? The vampire? You couldn't have chosen a bigger cliché?" Gera said viciously.
I responded with a shrug, as if I didn't care.
—It may be cliché, but her personality is nice. She's sexy. Plus, she's the wielder of the unique skill "Lust". In a world where skills are a reflection of someone's personality, why do you think she got it? —I said, winking with my eye.
—She's a lesbian!
—So? Sara was one too. How did things turn out? —I crossed my hands proudly in the direction of the group.
Everyone was silent at my comment. I already had experience in how to deal with lesbians, at least in how to turn them bisexual.
After an awkward silence that lasted a few seconds, we all burst out laughing. After that, we continued having fun for a few hours playing Smash and some board games. By the time night seemed to fall, our gathering had come to an end.
"Are you sure you can drive? You've been drinking quite a bit," Gera asked in a worried tone.
—Relax, man. I've been drinking in moderation. I stopped drinking several hours ago for the same reason. Besides, if by chance I were to die, I'd probably have my isekai adventure. Who knows, maybe I could find a way to bring you to that world —I said jokingly.
—Oh, that would be fun. I'd be willing to follow you —he replied, also jokingly.
—Great. If I do die, don't kill yourself out of depression at losing me. Maybe in a few years I'll cross the world and come for you. Don't make my task any harder —I laughed and held out my fist to him.
—I won't, but don't be late. Who knows, I might get summoned to another world to save a kingdom from the Demon King —he laughed and bumped his fist with me.
After saying goodbye, I drove to my apartment, neither of us knowing that this would be the last time we would see each other… at least for a long time.
There's a saying that goes, "Sometimes you get what you ask for."
As I drove back, I was tempted to increase the speed a little more. The engine roared and that excited me. In response to that, I accelerated more, until…
Out of nowhere a truck appeared in front of me. It had left its lane and entered mine. I reflexively tried to get out of its way, but because of my speed I didn't have time to do so. I could only watch in slow motion as my bike collided with the front of the truck. It all happened so fast that I couldn't feel any pain. The last thing I had seen was the driver, who had fallen asleep at the wheel.
Son of a bitch! If you're so sleepy, you might as well go sleep at a gas station! Why do you come and kill an innocent guy like me?
And with that last thought, everything went dark.
________________________________________________________
Author's notes:
Hey guys, I'm back.
As you can see, to the disappointment of some and the joy of others, I didn't start with Volume 2. As I mentioned before, I admit that I got carried away; I ended up writing things that I later regretted. So I decided to go back and do it from the beginning. I will rewrite Volume 1 with the ideas that have come to mind in the last few months, along with some of your suggestions. For example:
At the suggestion of some of you, I have decided to upload chapters weekly from now on (when I have time). As compensation, each chapter will be longer. My plan is for the new Volume 1 to be around 100,000 words. Once I finish that, Volume 2 will begin.
I have created a Spanish version of the fanfic, you can search for it as "Aquella vez que reencarné en una serpiente" (Aquella vez que reencarné en una serpiente), if you wish.
From now on, I will consider the Spanish version as the original version and the English version as the translation. This won't affect the upload of chapters; in both versions I will upload the same chapter on the same day. Now, all those who think that their browser translation is better than the AI I use can come to the original version to avoid translation errors or, in case you speak Spanish, you won't have to use the translator to read the English version.
As for if you are upset that I don't continue the story from where I left off, I'm sorry about that. I will try to keep the essence of the BETA version; however, there will be many changes that I hope will be for the better.