Hey readers, this is Freya. I'd just like you to know that I can currently see you... Don't get what I am talking about? Well, the man who is currently on a train reading this on his phone on a random subway, could you just chill out for a minute? I'll explain, in a moment, when I am quite ready, kay?
Great! Now, since that is sorted... Let's get started shall we?
It all started on a midsummers day in ancient Greece... Now I know what you are all saying! ' " That is a Big Bang Theory reference " '. You'd be right, but I am also correct, since gaining 1000 years of Ruling experience was much more hands on than you'd expect!
After speaking to Tony about that idiot called Anakin I had hoped to relax and jus bask in getting better, but no. My soul was sent into the body of a young man called Alexander, in ancient Greece. I couldn't do much but speak to him.
He thought he was mad at first until I was able to convince him that I was Athena speaking to him within his mind. At first the time I spent was rather boring, attending arithmetic classes that were rudimentary and rather basic in comparison to high order math in the future. Strategy classes were awesome, my mind actually adapting to a new form of warfare, that based on stuff in the past... But still, I got bored. That was when I decided to just guide Alexander towards his destiny, conquering all of the 'world'...
Heh, yeah, it was cute that they thought that most of the world was contained within this little quadrant of the globe. Anyway... I guided him in times of worry and woe and watched as he grew to be a competent leader.
After like 10 years of watching him grow to the age of 18 he had accomplished most of his conquests and was now struggling to maintain control over his forces. People were hungry, tired and wanted to go back to their wives. I tried to inform him that he should back off and let peace usher in for a while... He wasn't having it... He was a fool readers! Seriously, he was so arrogant, I expected better from such an essential figure in history.
He died though, as I told him he would... Yeah, it wasn't pretty, but positive was that I got whisked away to a new place!
That was my mood until I got deposited within the mind of some crazy fucker from Egypt that had a plan to take all of the 'world' yet again. He was insane and died the same after about 5 years, he made too many foolish decisions and pissed off his supporters. I don't think he was even recorded in history or by his people? Crazy right?
A few dozen times of that and I finally got placed within the mind of someone highly competent. He had faired more stoically when I entered his psyche, his question to the sword point and rather easy to answer... I explained it away with being Mars since he was a Roman.
Guess what!? Okay, calm down, no need to yell at me... Jeeze. He was actually someone crazily important to History!
JULIUS 'FUCKING' CEASRE; exclude the 'fucking' from the name.
The guy was actually crazily savvy in politics and military combat, in fact, he was the first person that I was actually learning shit from. Quietly I sat there and observed his plans and interactions. Mark Antony and many other figures fading by every now and then as I consumed the thinly veiled meanings of words and tactical/strategic ideas. The more insane thing was when I accidently formed in front of him, my form distinctly feminine.
He hadn't done anything other than to kneel to me and thank 'me' , Minerva, for the blessing just days before his historic jaunt over the Rubicon. Yeah... I didn't care much for his antics, but it was cool to introduce some card games to ancient roman society! Julius even spread them through his military... Yeah, I gained a lot of belief from that as I essentially yoinked the moniker of Minerva.
Some time later Julius was in the city and I began noticing that all of the statues of Minerva were slowly changing to conform to my image, the mortals completely unaware to the change despite happening right before their eyes.
Rome had been celebrating for a while and had started to boom in power and population as riches were conquered from distant places and brought to the middle of the Empire. Most of the time, truthfully, I sat in Julius's mind... I could learn a lot from just absorbing his stray ideas and thoughts. He was a damned genius in political intrigue, could probably put Niccolo to the test actually.
Well, it had been good while it lasted... I watched him slip to the senate floor in a pool of his own blood whilst the assassins grinned happily over his corpse, Brutus shaking as he dropped the knife and tried to wipe away the blood. Yeah history had slightly gotten it wrong... Brutus was forced politically to kill him, otherwise several of his rather questionable acts would become public knowledge, including the word that rhymes with grape.
Sorry, got kinda mad there for a moment. Julius was a good guy all in all, he just saw the writing on the wall and wanted to stabilise the Roman Empire before it fell to corruption. He did want a lot of gold and power as well, but who didn't, really?
I got zapped to his adopted son Octavius who eventually became Augustus. It was fun watching Brutus be hung along with all the rest of the scum, but that was fleeting as we came to an arrangement... I'd help him create policy for the Roman Empire and he'd try to have information about every single event and the actions that lead up to them in politics.
It was helpful in a way as I got to see how a senate works and who really runs it. People would think that I would know already, I can fucking hear you by the way, but they would be wrong... I needed information to know it and I hadn't had much experience in true politics. Now I did.
Wait...
Let us just cut to the chase... We all got the point that I am going back into the minds of past sovereigns and leaders, absorbing their knowledge and thought processes before moving on until I reach a max number of 1000 years, yeah? Great!
Now I can tell you about the Space Time Continuum...
It's more like a rug really... Heh, Timelord joke.
Yeah, yeah, groaning, so much groaning... Fine.
The STC as I called it was rather fucking complex and insane. It is also the reason that I can currently speak to you. Currently I am spread through all of time and space at a single instant and am evolving to incorporate all species in a single body. Technically after this I should be able to copy the genetic information of different mammalian species into my own without physical changes; unless I wanted them.
Apex was churning away powerfully as it sustained my thoughts and probably allowed me to talk to you all... Though I am wondering if you are all just a figment of my imagination created by my quirk to keep me occupied whilst my soul is positively shredded like an electric guitar in the hands of Malmsteen. Eh, who cares, right?
No!? What the fuck do you mean 'no'? So i should cry like a little bitch and curl in on myself because it hurts a lot??? Tch, fuck, that hurts. Stop that!
Sorry, a narwhal just popped out of the time stream and gave me a sassy poke with its unicorn horn. Anyway! Wait, is that Deadpool?
"Holy shit! I am a huge fan Freya, could you sign off on my tighty whiteys?"
No, go away, this is my monologue and insanity, kay?
"Not happening. Sup readers, you enjoying this so far...? Don't even need the answer, you all are relishing this shit like a stripper who loves drinking cum from a used condom!"
Enough, I will not have you interfering with my moment. Go away.
"Awww, but I wanted that autograph"
*Punch Sound Effects Ensue*
*Wipes hands*
Sorry about that people, he keeps on popping up randomly... W-wait, what was I saying?
*POP*
...
I awoke on top of the couch that I had been relaxing on when speaking to Tony before. Looking around everything was fine, nothing was out of place but I kept getting the odd sense that people were watching me...
Lifting my hand words slipped from my mouth,
Magic sifted through the chamber as nothing appeared out of the ordinary. Blinking I scanned my mind and watched my internal mind space expand to the size of the entire Earth. Occlumency kicked in as my entire being began to click information into place, including my experience in the horrid cesspit that was all of Space-Time.
'What the fuck, or, who the fuck was I talking to???'
{The Greater beings were watching you, nothing to be concerned about.}
'Huh!?'
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