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Chapter 49 - The weight of feeling

I have BPD, but you don't see

the storm that twists and tears through me.

I push, I pull, I want, I break,

I test the love I fear you'll take.

You promise things will be alright,

but my mind whispers through the night:

"It never lasts, it never stays,

they always leave, they walk away."

I want to see you, feel your touch,

I want too little, then too much.

But when you say you need some space,

I spiral, lost inside my place.

It sounds like tricks, like mindless schemes,

but trust me, love—it's not what it seems.

I feel too deeply, can't unwind,

a hurricane inside my mind.

So if you stay, then stay for real,

don't make a promise you won't feel.

Because I love in highs and lows,

and where this ends—

I'll never know.

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