The Fire Festival was held as scheduled.
The performances hadn't been rehearsed, but thanks to Jack's incredible constitution and recovery abilities—not to mention the resilience of his gluteal muscles—he had managed to recover from his injuries in time for the festival.
Kaido had no intention of introducing Doflamingo to Orochi, and Doflamingo, understanding his position, tactfully avoided appearing before Kaido and Orochi. Instead, he stayed in the penthouse, sipping sake with a carefree grin, surrounded by a bevy of women.
While Doflamingo was lounging in comfort, Jack found himself sandwiched between Black Maria and Yamato, with Ulti and her brother perched on his shoulders. The two siblings stared at Doflamingo with envious eyes.
Amid the chatter, Jack hoisted Page One into the air with his left hand, ignoring Ulti's futile flailing kicks, and growled impatiently:
"When I was your age, Kaido beat me three times a day!"
"Flowers raised in a greenhouse won't survive the storm!"
"And stop tying my hair into twin tails, you brats!"
BAM! BAM!
"You stupid elephant! Jack, you idiot!"
As Ulti and her brother went flying out the window, Black Maria and Yamato hurried outside to check on them. Doflamingo, on the other hand, fell into a contemplative silence.
After a while, he remarked, almost in admiration, "No wonder you're so physically tough. The way the Beasts Pirates train their kids is truly... unique."
"Beaten three times a day by Kaido..."
"Not three times! Three rounds!" Jack corrected, holding up three thick fingers in Doflamingo's face. "There's a difference! A 'round' isn't just one hit!"
"A 'round' could last all night!"
Doflamingo, at a loss for words, raised his glass in a toast.
"Drink! Let's just drink!"
But as he glanced at the barrel of sake in Jack's hand and the massive arms holding it, he couldn't help but feel a pang of insecurity about his own build.
The festival reached its peak when Yamato and Black Maria took the stage to perform. By this point, Jack was visibly tipsy, his head swaying as he muttered drunkenly:
"Just wait a few years. I'll give Kaido a thrashing. And King and Queen, too!"
"I'll smack them so hard their butts will swell!"
Jack slung a heavy arm over Doflamingo's shoulders, treating him like a mere chick. Doflamingo could only chuckle awkwardly, unsure how to respond.
Suddenly, the room darkened as Kaido's booming voice rang out:
"Oi, Jack!"
Jack, startled, immediately sobered up.
"Kaido!"
Kaido entered the room, waving the women away. They bowed and quietly left, closing the door behind them.
Kaido sat down heavily next to Doflamingo, who instinctively scooted away. "Move over, Doffy!"
Doflamingo glanced at Jack on his right, then back at Kaido. "Why me? It's crowded here too!"
Jack glared at Kaido. "Why don't you sit somewhere else?"
"I sit where I want!" Kaido retorted.
"You like lots of places! Didn't you say you liked Mary Geoise? Why don't you go sit there?"
"You brat! I'm the Governor-General!"
"Yeah? Well, I'm still a minor!"
"I'm drunk! Don't make me hit you!"
"Bring it on! My brain's not working right now anyway!"
The two started shoving each other, their faces red from exertion. Doflamingo, caught in the middle, was squashed so flat that only his sunglasses maintained their shape. With a trembling hand, he weakly reached out.
"This... is a terrible experience..."
"Someone... save me..."
CRASH!
The door burst open, and all three men stopped, panting, to look. Queen stood in the doorway, taking in the scene. After a beat, he closed the door and muttered, "I just remembered something urgent. I'll be going now."
"Get back here, Queen!"
Queen's sudden entrance provided the perfect distraction for Doflamingo, who managed to slip free before Jack and Kaido could crush him entirely.
"Jack, you brat! I'll let you off today!" Kaido growled before grabbing a sake barrel and guzzling it down. Jack, not to be outdone, plunged his head directly into his own barrel.
Doflamingo, now sitting safely beside Queen, wiped the sweat off his brow. "Hic..."
"Joker!" Kaido slurred, turning to Doflamingo. The stench of alcohol hit him like a punch, but Doflamingo kept a straight face.
"Joker, you said you wanted to become one of the Shichibukai? Are you confident?"
"Fufufufu... Kaido, rest assured. My plan is flawless," Doflamingo said, exuding confidence.
"In less than two years, I'll claim the title of Shichibukai. Once I have a legitimate status, our cooperation will become even smoother."
"Hmph. Then I'll congratulate you in advance," Kaido muttered, swaying slightly.
"But don't get cocky. The World Government thinks the Shichibukai system can balance the chaos of the seas, but they're underestimating pirates."
Kaido's voice grew colder. "Balance? It takes more than military power or pirate tricks to stabilize this ocean. It requires eliminating countless weaklings! Roger, that damn fool..."
Doflamingo remained silent. After all, he couldn't withstand even a single blow from Kaido.
"Joker," Kaido continued, "Tomorrow, Queen will accompany you to negotiate with those underground scumbags. I'm counting on you."
"Understood."
Kaido nodded. "Queen! Show Joker around Wano while you're at it!"
"Leave it to me!" Queen said with a sly grin.
As Doflamingo and Queen exited the room, Jack turned to Kaido.
"Why bother with all this? Just let me handle the underground and the Shichibukai. I'll crush them in no time!"
Kaido smirked at Jack's enthusiasm. "Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho! Jack, you've only seen a glimpse of this world."
"No matter how strong you are, you'll always need allies. The underground, the Shichibukai, Orochi, even the Navy—they're nothing. The real threat is the World Government that has ruled for 800 years and the Celestial Dragons of Mary Geoise."
"Because fools and weaklings aren't called gods for no reason!"
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The fanfic is Finished on p@treon/tambeerg