"Pfft… this is too much!"
"Unbelievable! The great All-Star of the Beasts Pirates, Jack, running around Onigashima bare-ass naked—this news has spread everywhere!"
"I say, Jack, maybe you should just quit being an All-Star and dive into the sea instead!"
"Oi, don't be so harsh! Sure, Jack did something embarrassing, but we don't have to rub it in. That's just rude, y'know. It might hurt his feelings."
"You two brats! Shut your damn mouths!"
Jack glared furiously at the brother-and-sister duo, Ulti and Page One, his voice booming with frustration.
"If you knew my pants were ripped, why didn't you say anything sooner?!"
"We wanted to tell you!" Ulti shouted, hands on her hips as she stood toe-to-toe with him. "But you vanished like a damn rhino on steroids before we could say a word!"
"Well, now everyone knows!" Ulti declared, her tone dripping with mockery. "Jack the Drought—an All-Star of the Beasts Pirates—loves streaking around like some weirdo!"
"Shut your trap, you little poison-tongued brat!" Jack roared back. "You're one to talk—always clinging to your brother like some creepy sister complex! Who's the real weirdo here?!"
"What did you say, you thick-headed oaf?! Just like Yamato said, you're nothing but an uncouth savage!"
"Huh?!"
Jack turned to Yamato, who was casually munching on fruit with her legs propped up on the table. Pointing at her with an accusatory finger, he shouted, "I'M uncouth?! Yamato, you've got no right to talk down to me! You're the one with sweaty feet! Who else smells like dried fish after just one day of not washing?!"
Yamato hurled a watermelon rind straight at Jack's head, leaping onto the table with fire in her eyes.
"That's rich coming from YOU, you giant perv! I know exactly what's in that thick skull of yours! Let me make this clear—as long as I'm around, you'll never lay a finger on Maria!"
"Wha—what the hell are you even talking about?!"
"Oi, oi…" Page One muttered, tilting his hat to avoid a flying banana peel. Watching the fruit fight escalate, he sighed. "Do you guys really need to waste perfectly good food like this?"
"Ugh…"
"Ptoo! I've had enough!"
A peach, hurled from an unknown assailant, nearly choked Page One, who angrily spat it out and decided to join the fray.
Suddenly, the door creaked open.
"Jack-sama! Doflamingo from the Donquixote Family has—"
WHAM!
A durian struck the poor subordinate square in the head, its fragrance filling the room.
Meanwhile, Doflamingo stood on the deck of his ship, gazing at the bustling harbor illuminated by countless lights.
When he first partnered with Kaido, this place had been nothing but a rundown port with a single shack. There hadn't even been proper guards back then. But now? There were watchtowers, rows of solid buildings, and even electric lights. From the bustling shadows in the windows and the presence of at least a hundred guards—judging by his Observation Haki—it was clear how much Onigashima had transformed.
"As expected," he mused. "With strength, wealth flows like water."
"Oi! Brother!"
A loud, rough voice broke Doflamingo's thoughts. Jack stood at the port, half a watermelon rind still perched on his head, waving enthusiastically.
Squinting through his tinted glasses, Doflamingo adjusted them before jumping down to meet the hulking figure.
"Jack! It's been a while," he called out. "Looks like you've… grown taller again."
"Hahaha! I'm still in my growth spurt—perfectly normal!" Jack boomed, puffing out his chest. "But you, Doffy… your style's getting flashier by the day!"
"Fuffuffuffu! Says the guy with a watermelon on his head," Doflamingo retorted, smirking as he gestured toward Jack's unconventional "hat."
"Enough with the jokes!" Jack huffed, tossing the rind aside. "Did you bring the stuff I asked for?"
Doflamingo's grin widened as he leaned in conspiratorially.
"Oh, I brought it all right. You've got some… interesting tastes for your age, Jack."
"Shut it!" Jack barked, his eyes gleaming with anticipation.
As the Beast Pirates' cargo ship docked, crewmates began unloading crates. Amidst the chaos, Ulti and Page One wandered over to inspect the goods.
"Wow! This bottle's so pretty!" Ulti exclaimed.
"Hey, Pei-chan! Look, there's a jewel here!"
"Where?! Let me see! Ulti, hand it over—you're too young for this stuff. You can't handle it!"
"Give it back, you white-haired witch!"
"Shut up, you iron-headed brat!"
"Pei-chan! Help meee!"
Nearby, Doflamingo nudged Jack with an amused look.
"Those two sure know how to make a scene."
"Don't mind them," Jack muttered dismissively. "One's a loudmouth, and the other snores, grinds her teeth, and farts in her sleep."
"Hey, Doffy," Jack continued. "Where's the stuff I ordered?"
Before Doflamingo could reply, a loud crash interrupted them. Yamato and Ulti had toppled one of the crates, spilling its contents onto the ground.
Among the spilled goods, Yamato held up a bizarrely large piece of purple fabric with a confused expression.
"Uh… what the hell is this?"
"Shit!" Jack panicked.
In a flash, he used Soru to snatch the items from their hands, shoving them back into the crate.
"What's with the Navy uniforms? And is that… a nurse outfit?" Ulti asked, eyeing the items suspiciously.
Jack barked, "It's none of your business!"
"You're such a weirdo, Jack! What are you even doing with this stuff?!"
"It's for Maria-, okay?!" Jack snapped. "If you're so curious, go ask the boss!" He pointed to Doflamingo.
Ulti pouted, still unconvinced.
"I'm a student, Jack! You said students have privileges!"
"You what?!" Jack grabbed her by the collar, his patience snapping.
"I don't care if you're a student—you're not getting any of this! Now scram!"
With a single kick, Jack sent her flying.
"Ulti-TII!!" Page One shouted, rushing to intervene—only to meet the same fate.
"Bam!"
"Waaaahhh!!"
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The fanfic is Finished on p@treon/tambeerg