I may or may not have written this chap after watching some episodes of Ultimate Spider-Man.
~~~~~
"I don't like this," Tony said as he tried to enter the local system, which fortunately wasn't 'royal' property and didn't carry the 'juicy' files, Arkea, as punishment for his attempt at hacking, previously colored his suit neon pink! PERMANENTLY!
"And finally! We are here!" He said as he opened Godnet (internet) and searched Iron Man; why? "I wonder if my glorious tales are limited to my universe or not,"
And what came made his blood freeze cold.
Because there came a list of animated series of Iron Man Armored Adventures and others, while there were many differences, the similarities were undeniable.
Hell! Once he looked enough, there was even a way to order FULLY functional suits, and they were not even costly, just 100 Merit Points!
He had no idea what Merit Points were but that looked cheap.
"Jarvis, can we sue them?" He asked.
[I won't suggest that sir! Law works differently, and last time I checked, we don't have branches of Stark Industries across the multiverse.]
Tony narrowed his eyes. "Okay, new project: Stark Industries Multiversal Expansion."
With that settled, he returned to his research.
Observations:
Tech Level? Way beyond Earth's standards.
Downside? These advancements weren't universally available.
Mystical Lost Cities? Yep. Lemuria, Atlantis, Olympia—real.
Current Status? Lemuria and Olympia were at war.
And honestly, he wasn't interested.
Which was ironic, considering he had been Earth's biggest weapon supplier at one point.
Still, his thoughts drifted back to his armor which was 'outdated' by this universe's standards.
But Tony knew the problem wasn't his intelligence.
It was the world. (Similar to how Howard was held back by his era)
"Jarvis, locate the nearest shop where I can get high-grade tech components."
[Right away, sir.]
Tony's eyes burned with excitement.
New Universe.
New Technology.
New Upgrades.
It was time to show these people what Iron Man could really do, but Tony's excitement lasted exactly three minutes, and then he realized something horrifying.
He was broke.
Flat-out, inter-dimensionally, cosmically—poor.
No cash.
No stocks.
No hidden Stark vaults.
"…This is ironic, right?" he muttered.
[Extremely, sir.]
So, next step?
Figure out how to earn Merit Points.
Merit System Overview (a.k.a. How to Not Starve in a New Universe):
1. What are Merit Points?
The universal currency is based on acts of contribution.
Used for buying tech, magic, and even citizenship.
2. How to Earn Them?
By helping people.
But—not just any people.
The less advanced someone is, the more Merit you earn.
3. The Catch?
You can't just hand them a piece of future tech.
No shortcuts.
You have to teach, guide, or innovate without spoon-feeding them.
Tony pinched the bridge of his nose.
"So, let me get this straight—I have to do community service?"
[Essentially, yes.]
"Without using my tech?"
[Directly, no. You must introduce advancements in a way that allows natural societal growth.]
Tony stared blankly at the screen.
"…I'm gonna die poor."
Peter Parker had no idea what he was doing.
One minute, he was webbing up another D-list villain.
The next—
DING!
[5,000 Merit Points awarded for taking down a False God!]
Peter blinked.
Then blinked again.
"...Huh?"
He scratched his head under his mask, looking at the pathetically webbed-up Big Wheel.
"Wait—this guy was a.... uhh, god?" (No he wasn't that guy was trying to fool people with advanced tech)
Big Wheel, spinning angrily in the webbing cursed, "Damn you, Spider-Man!"
The 'less advanced' people, a bunch of Medieval-looking folks, immediately dropped to their knees.
"OH MIGHTY SPIDER GOD!"
Peter: "Wait, no, that's not—"
"WE KNEW YOU DIDN'T ABANDON US!"
"LET US CELEBRATE YOUR GLORY!"
Before Peter could protest, he was hoisted into the air.
Big Wheel, still dangling in webbing, watching in horror, "STOP WORSHIPPING HIM!" He screamed before Peter shot a web at his mouth.
Meanwhile, Tony Stark, looking at Peter's Merit balance:
"…This little sh—" Then a metaphorical bulb lit above his head Tony Stark has done many things in his life.
He had built an arc reactor in a cave.
He had fought gods (well only Thor and Loki)
He had eaten Shawarma after an alien invasion.
But never—
I said never—
Had he ever been THIS desperate?
[Status]
[Peter Parker – 5,000 Merit Points]
[Tony Stark – 0 Merit Points]
[Tony Stark – Also Stuck in NEON PINK ARMOR]
Tony clenched his fists.
"Jarvis."
["Yes, Sir?"]
"Call the Spider."
["Sir, you have refused to acknowledge Spider-Man as a respectable individual for years—"]
"JARVIS."
["Dialing now, Sir."]
Peter was having the time of his life.
He was now a 'Spider-God' to Medieval folks, had free food for life, and was rich in whatever this universe considered currency.
Life was good, lounging on a throne of medieval cushions while a bard played dramatic music in the background; just then, his watch rang.
"Uh... Who is this?"
Tony gritted his teeth.
"…It's Tony."
Peter: "Ohhh, Mr. Stark! Hey! How's the Pink Panther life treating you?"
Tony closed his eyes. 'Breath in. Breathe out,"...Listen, kid. I need Merit Points. You have Merit Points. I happen to have a fantastic opportunity for you—"
Peter: "Oh?"
Tony: "—An internship. Directly under me. Imagine it, Peter Parker, Stark Intern Extraordinaire. You'll learn cutting-edge tech, get to work on top-secret inventions, and most importantly,"
Peter squinted somehow through his mask, "How much do I have to pay you?"
"ALL OF IT."
Peter: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Stark, ALL of it, are you trying to rob me?" For some reason, he covered his body as he said so.
Tony: "DO YOU THINK I WILL GO OUT IN THIS PINK ABOMINATION?!"
Peter checked the video feed Tony sent, of a fully neon pink Iron Man suit, oh he forgot but it was still funny "Pffft—"
Peter hummed.
He was about to agree, but then:
POOF!
A tiny chibi devil Spider-Man appeared on his shoulder.
Chibi Devil-Spidey screamed in his ears, "WAIT! You fool! Exploit him! This is STARK INDUSTRIES MONEY! Milk it for all it's worth!"
Peter frowned. "Dude, he's Iron Man, not a—"
POOF!
A second chibi, Spider-Man, appeared, but this one had a tiny halo.
Peter sighed in relief. Finally, some moral balance.
But, Chibi Angel-Spidey said something entirely unexpected, "HE'S RIGHT! Get MORE MONEY! We need to get Aunt May a vacation! AND take Ursula on a date!"
Peter couldn't believe his ears, "…What."
Chibi Angel-Spidey nodded sagely, eyes gleaming with dollar signs. "Tony is desperate. And desperate rich people pay MORE!"
Peter immediately realized something.
He had power and for the first time in his life, he had the upper hand over Tony Stark.
"Mr. Stark..." Peter said, his voice dangerously smug.
"What's the salary?"
Tony: "Kid, I will make you richer than Hammer."
Peter: "What about that Iron Spider Suit?"
Tony: "You can have a FREAKIN' GOLD web if you want!"
Peter: "Can I tell people I'm your PROTÉGÉ?"
Tony: "…Fine."
Peter grinned. "We have a deal, Mr. Stark."
He was already imagining it~~~~
.
.
.
He stood in his newly upgraded Iron Spider Suit, striking a heroic pose.
Behind him, two massive statues of Iron Man and Captain America stood tall, one hand on their hips, the other grandly gesturing toward him as if presenting their greatest creation.
A spotlight shined down on Peter. Trumpets blared. Doves flew dramatically into the sky.
And then, stepping forward, Tony Stark, in his classic Mark III armor, but… for some reason, he had a long, wise-old-man beard and was walking with a cane.
He sniffled, wiping away a single, manly tear.
"I watched him," Tony said, voice thick with emotion. "I watched him the first time he swung through buildings… I always knew he was destined for greatness."
The crowd gasped.
Tony reached out, holding a glowing, golden Avengers logo trophy, Peter took it with both hands, voice cracking as he whispered, "T-Thank you, Mr. Stark… I-I won't let you down—"
Suddenly, a janitor in the background muttered, "Yeah, yeah, give the bug boy his shiny toy and move on!"
Peter turned, and there he was, J. Jonah Jameson.
Wearing an old, stained janitor uniform, grumbling as he furiously scrubbed the floor with a mop.
"Menace gets a trophy, but do I get one for cleaning up his mess?! NOOOO!"
Peter gasped. "Mr. Jameson?! What are you doing here?"
J.J.J. paused, then slowly looked up, narrowing his eyes.
"...Good question." Then he gave a devilish smirk, "BECAUSE IT IS YOUR DREAM YOU MENACE!!!"
And then...
Peter snapped back to reality.
~~~~
This was weird?
(Spidey Pic)