Chapter 127 Forgiveness and Longing
"No." Qin Wanshu refused flatly, leaving no room for negotiation. She still felt rather helpless against Zuo Qinghuan's intimate way of speaking. If not for her usual strong composure, she might very well have flushed red from such probing questions.
"Qin Wanshu, really no?" Zuo Qinghuan persisted with the tenacity of sticky candy, sparing no effort in seeking benefits for herself.
Qin Wanshu ignored her. Otherwise, she feared Zuo Qinghuan would get carried away with the topic and never tire of it.
Seeing Qin Wanshu's attitude, Zuo Qinghuan knew her desired 'benefit' was hopeless. However, Qin Wanshu had forgiven her, and she was already quite satisfied with that. Everything else could wait until her relationship with Qin Wanshu returned to its former harmony.
"I thought you'd ignore me for much longer..." Zuo Qinghuan hugged Qin Wanshu, continuing to act cute.
"I wouldn't mind making it a bit longer," Qin Wanshu retorted, also feeling she might have started talking to Zuo Qinghuan too soon.
"Qin Wanshu, thank you for still loving me, and thank you for forgiving me." Zuo Qinghuan's demeanor suddenly changed, and she looked at Qin Wanshu, speaking with sincerity.
Qin Wanshu didn't reply, but her gaze towards Zuo Qinghuan softened considerably.
"Why?" Zuo Qinghuan asked. They hadn't contacted each other for three years after parting ways. How could such a resolute woman forgive her so easily? It all still felt a bit unreal to Zuo Qinghuan.
"Because you're also a woman, and you also need someone to cherish you. If you were a man, I definitely wouldn't have forgiven you so easily." Qin Wanshu reached out, gently wrapping an arm around Zuo Qinghuan's waist and softly stroking her long, soft hair.
Zuo Qinghuan didn't know why, but a warm feeling bloomed in her chest. Though she was deeply moved, there was also an ache, a sense of discomfort. Tears began to slide down her cheeks uncontrollably. It felt like something she had heard in a dream once, yet she couldn't recall ever having such a dream.
Qin Wanshu saw Zuo Qinghuan's tears. Even if her words had moved Zuo Qinghuan so deeply, it shouldn't have brought her to tears, should it? Regardless, seeing Zuo Qinghuan cry always tugged at the softest spot in her heart.
"Why are you crying?" Qin Wanshu asked gently. She couldn't bear to see Zuo Qinghuan's tears.
"Qin Wanshu, why didn't you contact me at all for three years? I couldn't reach you either. I missed you so much..." The more Zuo Qinghuan spoke, the more tears fell. She hadn't felt wronged initially, but now that she was crying, the feeling of grievance truly surfaced.
Because I was afraid that if I contacted you, I wouldn't be able to resist telling you to come back, Qin Wanshu thought silently. I also felt I should give you space to soar. Besides, only by truly learning to face solitude can one genuinely grow, endure loneliness, and resist temptation from others or things. It was a kind of test. Moreover, I was angry that you left. Three years isn't a short time, after all, and I couldn't completely let it go either.
"Stop crying. Where did all your maturity go these past three years?" Qin Wanshu didn't answer Zuo Qinghuan's question directly, merely patting her back with increasing gentleness.
"Qin Wanshu, don't ignore me like that again in the future. It makes me feel really insecure and uneasy." So many nights in Japan, she had been too lonely to sleep, longing to hear Qin Wanshu's voice but unable to reach her at all. That sense of isolation often led to sleepless nights. It took so much effort to restrain herself from flying back to find Qin Wanshu. Zuo Qinghuan never wanted to taste that feeling again.
"I promise," Qin Wanshu said, holding Zuo Qinghuan with heartfelt tenderness. She knew that Zuo Qinghuan was still very insecure deep down. Giving her the cold shoulder earlier must have made her very anxious.
Qin Wanshu's answer brought Zuo Qinghuan an inexplicable sense of peace. It felt like the Qin Wanshu from three years ago had returned. She hugged Qin Wanshu tighter; her heart, no longer suspended precariously, could finally rest.
Zuo Qinghuan roughly wiped away her tears with her hand. She didn't understand why she had cried so much today; she had thought she was supposed to be stronger now.
Qin Wanshu pulled a tissue from the box on the table and gently wiped the tears from Zuo Qinghuan's face. She didn't like seeing Zuo Qinghuan cry at all, but at this moment, all her anger and resentment towards her had vanished, replaced entirely by aching tenderness.
"Do I look really ugly right now?" Zuo Qinghuan asked nervously, suddenly conscious of her appearance. She didn't want Qin Wanshu to see her in such a state.
"A little," Qin Wanshu replied. Actually, she found the current Zuo Qinghuan quite adorable, with her red eyes looking just like a little white rabbit's.
"Qin Wanshu, can't you say something sweet? Can't you just say I look good no matter what?" Zuo Qinghuan grumbled, clearly frustrated, knowing full well how much she cared about her image in her goddess's eyes.
"I never tell lies," Qin Wanshu said, relieved to see Zuo Qinghuan acting more like her usual self, and now in the mood to tease her.
So clueless about romance, Zuo Qinghuan thought inwardly. Though, that earlier sentence from Qin Wanshu had been spoken with such deep feeling.
"Qin Wanshu, could you say that sentence again, please?" Zuo Qinghuan looked at Qin Wanshu eagerly.
"Which sentence?" Qin Wanshu recalled saying quite a few things just now and wasn't sure which one Zuo Qinghuan meant.
"The one about 'I'm a woman, you need to cherish me'," Zuo Qinghuan specified. She found she really liked hearing Qin Wanshu say that.
Qin Wanshu felt that some things, some feelings, were better understood implicitly. Saying them again would feel awkward, especially out of context; it would sound abrupt.
"I'm hungry," Qin Wanshu tried to change the subject.
"Say it, come on, I want to hear it!" Zuo Qinghuan insisted childishly.
"You're not young anymore, still acting spoiled," Qin Wanshu teased. Deep down, Zuo Qinghuan really was quite girlish.
Zuo Qinghuan knew she was twenty-seven now, practically a young woman, but in front of Qin Wanshu, she couldn't help but act like a little girl.
"That's only because it's you," Zuo Qinghuan said earnestly.
"I know," Qin Wanshu replied with a smile. She liked that Zuo Qinghuan relied on her just like she used to, that even though Zuo Qinghuan now had her own world, Qin Wanshu was still the person she depended on most.
Zuo Qinghuan loved the way Qin Wanshu said "I know," as if everything was perfectly clear within her heart.
"You're hungry, right? I'll have the staff send breakfast up." Zuo Qinghuan finally released Qin Wanshu, preparing to call the front desk to order two breakfast sets.
"Then I'll go take a shower," Qin Wanshu said and walked into the bathroom.
After showering, while they were eating breakfast, Qin Wanshu suddenly asked, "Is Aoba still at your place?"
"She moved to Aunt Xiao's yesterday. She's Aunt Xiao's daughter," Zuo Qinghuan answered cautiously. She was well aware that Qin Wanshu had been quite bothered by Aoba's presence before.
"Was it also Xiao QiNan who sent you to Japan?" Qin Wanshu actually already knew it was Xiao QiNan who had arranged for Zuo Qinghuan to go to Japan, which was why she had felt relatively at ease letting Zuo Qinghuan stay there.
"Mn," Zuo Qinghuan nodded. Seeing that Qin Wanshu seemed completely unconcerned about Aoba now, Zuo Qinghuan finally relaxed.
Zuo Qinghuan briefly explained the connection between Xiao QiNan and Kitano Mine to Qin Wanshu.
"I didn't expect Xiao QiNan to have such ties with the Kitano family. Xiao QiNan is an admirable woman. When the time comes, I'll accompany you to visit her," Qin Wanshu said softly. It occurred to her that Zuo Qinghuan owed Xiao QiNan a tremendous debt of gratitude. And a debt owed by Zuo Qinghuan was naturally her debt too.
"We definitely must visit Aunt Xiao. But first, I'd like to pay a visit to the Qin residence," Zuo Qinghuan said. She had always wanted to visit Old Master Qin. They could visit Aunt Xiao later; she was probably still immersed in the joy of reuniting with her daughter right now.
"Alright. This time, we'll go back to the Qin residence together," Qin Wanshu agreed, feeling it was necessary as well.