It was another beautiful day in Wartwood, Anne and Shadow were spending their time on a drive, riding on the back of Ironhide's shell, with several bags hanging off the side, with the Plantars riding atop Bessie behind.
"Ah, a leisurely outing with Bessie." Hop Pop sighed blissfully. "Why, we could really go anywhere. Do anything."
"Not to mention just enjoy the fresh air and sunlight." Shadow nodded.
"Ooh, ooh! Can we get Swamp Slushies?" Sprig asked. "They have new flavors."
Hop Pop laughed, "Nope."
"Can we go off-road? Polly asked, pulling on the old frog's eyelids. "Do some crazy stunts?"
"Double no." Hop Pop stated, both kids slumping.
Anne looked to Shadow, who was currently at the reins of Ironhide, before asking, "Hey, Shady! Can I drive?"
"Sure."
"Aw, come on, dude-" She stopped when she realized what he had said. "Wait, really?"
"I don't see why not." Shadow shrugged before pointing over at the Plantars. "Hop Pop's been trying to teach Sprig for years."
"It's true." Sprig nodded.
"All right!" Anne declared with an excited grin. "Give me those reins! I'm ready to drive!"
Slam!
"Not before reading this, you're not." Shadow stated, slamming medium sized book upon a tree stump, upon returning to the hut, with Sprig tagging along.
"What?" Anne did a doubletake.
"This is Ironhide's History." Shadow explained. "Hop Pop taught me that before touching a snail's reins, you gotta know them. Feel their heartbeat next to yours and become one."
"Shade, it's just a vehicle." Anne said flatly. "We had a family car back home. It's no biggie."
"Doesn't matter." Shadow shoved the book into her arms. "You can't drive Ironhide, unless you read this cover to cover. And that's final."
"Are there pictures?" Anne asked.
"There are diagrams, if they count." Shadow shrugged.
"Noooooooo!" Anne screamed dramatically.
"Dramatic much?" Shadow said with a roll of his eyes before picking up his sword. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got hunting to do."
With Shadow gone, Anne groaned in annoyance, "Ugh. I'll be old before I finish reading this thing."
"Yeah, page five is as far as I got in Hop Pop's book." Sprig said, poking at a flower. "Too much description, not enough plot."
"This is ridiculous. I don't need history." Anne said before putting the book into Ironhide's saddlebag and jumping into the saddle. "I need experience." She then had an idea. "Hey. What do you say we take a harmless test-drive? Prove to Shadow and Hop Pop that we're fast learners?"
Sprig started to reach out to accept, but hesitated, "Do you get the feeling this is one of those decisions we'll look back on and say, 'Ooh-boy, we probably shouldn't have done that'?"
"We'll get Swamp Slushies while we're out~" Anne said in a singsong tone.
Sprig immediately jumped in beside her, "No regrets!"
"That's what I like to hear!" Anne declared, taking the reins and snapping with a 'Hyah!', making Ironhide dash off, both kids whooping with joy.
On the road, Mrs. Croaker could be seen riding her ladybug, with her pet spider Archie by her side. She was enjoying the silence when she saw a dust cloud coming up behind her.
"What in tarnation?"
Ironhide suddenly rode past her at high speeds, causing her ladybug to spin out of control, "Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
"Out of the way, slowpoke!" Sprig yelled, slapping his bottom.
"Hooligans! Ruffians! Swamp suckers!" Sadie yelled, Archie barking beside her.
"Whoa. What was that?" Anne asked.
"I've always wanted to try road rage." Sprig said.
"And the verdict?"
"Exhilarating."
"Live your truth! Yeah!"
Both laugh as they continued their joyride, stopping by to get swamp slushies. After that, they continued on their way.
"Man, you were right." Sprig said. "We didn't need to read some silly book. You drive just fine."
"Just fine? Pshh. Boy, I'm a natural." Anne scoffed before gasping. "Ooh, ooh! Wanna take this baby off-road?"
"Yup." Sprig nodded.
The snail revved like an actual car as Anne steered him offroad, the three riding through the woods, laughing all the way, before they rode off a cliff, spinning before dropping into the forest, landing with a heavy thud.
"So, off-roading. Fun." Anne said with heavy breath from the adrenaline. "But how about we go back to on-roading?"
Sprig sat up, several leaves sticking out of his mouth and hat from the tree branch hitting him in the face, "Good old reliable on-roading, yes, please." He then shook his head quickly, shaking the leaves loose.
"All right, Ironhide! Let's move!" She then whips the reins, but the snail didn't budge. "One more time. Let's move." She tries again, but Ironhide still didn't move. "Um, Ironhide?"
The two look down to see Ironhide had retreated inside his shell.
"You all right, boy?" Sprig asked with concern, Ironhide sputtering in response.
"Hey, what's going on here?" Anne asked. "Does it need fuel in the tank or something? Is the oil low?" She got low, holding a rotten pea in a pod. "Come get the tasty fuel, Ironhide."
"Ew, Anne." Sprig said before holding up a freshly green four-leaf clover. "These leaves are tastier." He then held it out to the snail. "Here, Ironhide. I got dem good leaves, big guy!"
Ironhide only purred, not wanting to come out.
"Hmm. Maybe we can push him?" Anne suggested as she and Sprig stood behind the snail. "Give him a jump-start? I'm sure that's a thing."
Both tried their best to push Ironhide, straining as much as they could, but the snail didn't budge, not even an inch.
"Okay. He is way too heavy." Anne said, she and Sprig both panting. "Also, I'm crazy out of shape."
"What are we gonna do?" Sprig asked in a panicked tone. "We're stuck."
"We have no choice. I'll stay here with Ironhide while you hitch a ride back to the farm and..." She then groaned. "... go get Shadow or Hop Pop."
"Good idea. It's the right thing to do, even if we get an earful." Sprig nodded. "Be back in a flash.
He then used his tongue to grab a tree branch and pull himself up to the trees, jumping from tree to tree until he was out of sight, leaving Anne alone with Ironhide.
Sighing, Anne stood next to the snail, arms crossed as she hummed to herself, a couple of small ants marching past, Anne kicking the dirt.
"Ah, this is so boring!" She groaned, slumping against the shell. "Wish I had something to read." Just then, she averted her eyes to the saddle bag that held the book that Shadow insisted on her reading, then sighed, "Fine. But just to pass the time." She then pulled the book out and opened it to the first page. "Okay, let's see here. 'It was an especially cold morning the day when I first found Ironhide during my wandering of the swamp'."
As she read, Shadow's voice can be heard narrating, "The leaves had just changed color, and rather than bore you with pointless details, my dear reader, like Hop Pop would, let's get back to main origin of my faithful steed."
"Wow, he talks like Ironhide is his son or something." Anne commented, continuing to read.
As she reached the next chapter, Shadow's voice can be heard once again, "It was soon that I learned that Ironhide's shell was harder than tempered steel. Not even the strongest blade could pierce it!"
"Wow, so that's how he got the name." Anne said in wonder as she continued, soon reaching the next chapter.
"And it was at that moment I realized Ironhide was no ordinary snail, but a kind, clear soul who would help others at a drop of a hat. Kinda reminds me of Bessie in a way. I raised my bid to 500 copper pieces, an extra 50 with Hop Pop's help, winning the auction, and in the process, saving Ironhide from the nefarious Jim Snapes."
"Yes! In your face, Snapes!" Anne cheered. "Man. This is actually pretty good." She then picked up some leaves and started eating them. "And I need to stop eating leaves."
She continued to read several more chapters, before reaching the next one.
"The snow swirled around us and I began to lose hope. I could feel my strength dwindling bit by bit. The sweet embrace of death crept closer and closer. After all the pain and suffering I had endured, my miserable life would come to an end. Until suddenly I heard a sound pulling me back. It was Ironhide... He was singing! And it was enough to relight the fire within me and encourage me to keep moving forward!"
Suddenly, Anne started sobbing, tears running down her face, "You go, bro!" She then hugged Ironhide's shell, her tears running down it. "You noble, noble creature!" She then pulled her face away. "Man. This is messing me up." With a sniffle, she picks up the book to resume reading. "Now let's see. Where was I?" As she read, a section of the page earned her curiosity. "The reason Ironhide had hidden in her his was now very clear to me. A predator was close. And not just any predator. A natural enemy of snails."
Suddenly, there was a snap of a twig that startled her, followed by a rustling of the bushes. Looking up from the book, Anne looked around, yet saw no one.
"Uh... Hello?" She called out before flipping through the book. "Uh, anything in here about this predator? Oh, there we go." She then stopped at a page with a detailed drawing of a cute and adorable hedgehog. "Aw, it's actually pretty cute."
Pulling down the book, however, she saw several large hedgehogs the size of tigers emerge from the bushes, snarling and looking more like razorback hyenas. Screaming, the Thai girl quick got on top Ironhide's shell, the beasts jumping up to attempt a bite, Anne kicking one that lunged at her before speed reading through the book.
"Cone on, come on." She said before coming upon the page she was looking for. "Yes! 'When Ironhide senses danger, you gotta sit on his shell and yell at the top of your lungs," She then yelled, "IRONHIDE, TIME TO ROLL OUT!"
Ironhide then popped out of his shell and sped off, the hedgehogs running after them, shooting quills at them, Anne ducking behind the saddle while any quills that hit the snail's shell harmlessly bounced off.
"Okay, gotta lose these things." Anne said before reading as fast as she could. "Here we go! 'If you still haven't escaped, give Ironhide some berries from the secret compartment in the front of his shell'."
She leaned forward pressed the front of the shell, revealing Ironhide's internal organs, "Whoa, this is gross." She found the small bag of berries, pulled out a few and leaned forward. "Let's do this thing, Ironhide!"
The snail chirps before Anne feeds him the berries, the snail trail left behind turning into green, slippery oil slick that sent the hedgehogs sliding and crashing into each other.
Once they had gotten a safe distance away, Anne cheered before hugging Ironhide, "Way to go, Ironhide! You are the king of the road!"
Ironhide chirps happily in response.
"All right, let's go home." Anne said before Ironhide starts moving again. After riding some distance down the road, she saw Sadie Croaker riding her ladybug, looking as though she was singing, while Sprig looked like he was about to lose it.
"Hey, kid, need a lift?" She called.
"Anne!" Sprig jumped at her with a hug. "Thank goodness!" He then turned back to Sadie. "Okay, bye, Mrs. Croaker. Thank you."
"Bye, darlin'." The old frog lady said with a smirk. "Next time, try to keep that road rage in check."
She then laughed as she whipped her ladybug, taking off at high speeds, Anne and Sprig looking on in astonishment.
"Pretty sure I just got played." Sprig said.
"That woman is everything I want to be." Anne stated.
It had turned dark by the time the duo had returned to the hut, parking Ironhide back in the stable before falling off tired.
"We made it!" Sprig declared before taking a quick look inside. "And it looks like Shadow hadn't come back yet."
Sprig turned back to his human friend, "Hey, I'm heading back to the farm. You turning in for the night?"
"Not yet." Anne said, holding the book. "I think I'm going to spend a little more time with ol' Ironhide here."
"Suit yourself." Sprig shrugged before taking off.
Left alone, Anne laid atop the saddle before opening the book, Ironhide purring gently as he ate grass, "Now where were we?"
The next morning came, Shadow sleeping soundly in bed, before he felt a heavy weight land on him, startling him awake, "What the he-?"
He stopped when he saw, standing before his bed was a clearly sleep deprived Anne, her eyes wide and bloodshot.
"Good morning, Shadow." She greeted in a drone-like tone.
"Anne?" Shadow questioned.
"I did it. I read the whole thing. In one night." The Thai girl said in an insane manner.
"Oh. That's impressive." Shadow admitted. "Kinda scary. But impressive."
"I was wrong about Ironhide." She declared, slumping into a nearby chair. "He's not just a vehicle. He's a noble, beautiful creature!"
"Well, I'm glad you've changed your perspective, Anne." Shadow said with a smile. "Now that you've finished reading, the next thing is to get some experience!"
Anne's eyes widened at this before she started chuckling, which then turned to maniacal, almost evil laughter, before she walked towards the door, walking out, Shadow only looking on in genuine fear.
"I don't feel safe."