"Glug, glug, glug."
Dobby had taken to happily making fish sounds ever since they had returned from the pet store and set up his new aquarium. He had chosen a male and female goldfish that were both mostly black in coloration. For the several days since then, Dobby could often be found standing in front of it, watching his new little family swim around their new home.
Harry had insisted on getting a larger aquarium than was really necessary, with the idea that they would hopefully be having more baby fish at some point and thus need the room eventually.
Pansy was sitting on the couch reading over 'Harry's' most recent Herbology essay. She didn't even bother trying to get his input for the assignments of that class anymore. He was willing to do more than his share when they were in the greenhouses, so she thought it was a fair trade. Pansy loathed having to get her hands dirty.
Harry walked over and sat down next to Dobby in front of the aquarium.
"Have you thought of names for them?"
"Names?"
"They're your fish Dobby. You get to name them."
"Dobby has an idea but..."
"But what?"
"Dobby doesn't want to be making master Harry or miss Pansy mad." Dobby was blushing. Pansy perked up at the comment and stood up, coming over to join them.
"I doubt the names for your fish would make us mad," she replied. "What was your idea?"
Dobby looked around, as if he was afraid someone would hear him, before he answered.
"Dobby wants to call this one master Harry fish and that one miss Pansy fish," he said, pointing to each fish in turn and still blushing.
"Of course you do," Pansy snorted. "That's fine with me. How about you, master Harry?"
"I don't have any problem with that," Harry concurred. Dobby's resulting smile was enormous as he turned back to the aquarium. Harry thought for a moment, wondering if the house-elf was just being his normal obsessive self or if this was a type of joke.
"Is this because of when we learned the bubblehead charm, Dobby?"
Dobby began rolling around the floor, laughing like a maniac.
"I'll take that as a yes," Harry said as he stood up.
"What's this about the bubblehead charm?" Pansy asked.
"He said we looked like fish-people, remember?"
"Because it looked like a fishbowl on our heads. I remember now." Pansy looked down at Dobby who was almost over his laughing fit. "Will you do me a favor, Dobby?"
"Of course, miss Pansy."
"Talk to me before you name any of their fish children, alright? I don't want to name any of my future children after fish."
Harry started to giggle at that, but Pansy made a good point. Maybe he should suggest to Dobby naming them after his quidditch teammates. He wasn't too close with the girls or Oliver, and as much as he liked Fred and George, he had no plans to name any sons after them. Besides, he knew that Pansy would never stand for naming any of her children after a Weasley.
"Hey Neville, I've got a question for you."
It was just after lunch on the first Saturday of March, and Harry's fellow Gryffindor was sitting in a chair along the wall, reading a book about magical plants. He looked up, seemingly surprised that someone was talking to him. Harry felt a little bad that he was still so timid and nervous. Maybe he should have done more to try to push Neville and Hermione together.
"Uh, sure Harry. What is it?"
"Actually, it's a series of questions really. First up, do you have anything important you need to do this afternoon?"
"Not really. I still haven't finished the most recent Transfiguration assignment, but that isn't due for a few more days."
"Okay, good. Second question, do you like chocolate?"
"Yes, as much as anyone does I suppose. Who doesn't like chocolate?"
"I figure there has to be someone out there," Harry shrugged. "I mean, people cook and eat things like grasshoppers in some parts of the world. So I try not to assume too many things. Anyway, I was hoping you would do me a favor."
"Okay, what is it?"
"My third question, I guess. Will you be my alibi?"
"Alibi?"
"I've been roped into making brownies for a bunch of girls, and I'd like to have another guy there to try to hopefully keep any more of these silly rumors about me having a harem to a minimum. Your presence would be a big help."
"Alright." Neville looked down and blushed before quietly asking which girls would be there.
"Pansy, Luna, Hermione, Parvati, and Lavender."
"Right," Neville gulped. "When do you need me?"
"I'm going to go find Luna in a few minutes. Pansy will grab the other girls in awhile. Just follow them down to the kitchens."
"Okay."
"Thanks, Nev, I'll see you in awhile."
"You don't need to be in any rush today, Harry," Luna said as she followed him into the kitchens.
"What do you mean?"
"Pansy and I were talking about this and we decided that it would be more fun to treat it like a party. Since there are going to be several of us this time, we wouldn't want to get in the way of the house-elves as they prepare for dinner."
"Thank you miss Luna," three or four squeaky voices replied.
"You're welcome. Anyway, Pansy is going to find a room where we can all just hang out in this afternoon. I think she's going to have Dobby work his magic to get things ready."
"That sounds good," Harry said as he got all his ingredients together and began to work.
"You might want to put in a little less this time," Luna piped up as Harry reached for the small bag of marijuana and stopped abruptly.
"Um, what?"
"Harry, you've met my father. Do you think he is just naturally like that? My parents were sort of like hippies. I've been able to recognize that smell since before I could read."
"Oh. Don't tell Hermione, okay?"
"You're hoping it will help her become more open-minded then? That's a good goal, but I'm not sure how well it will work. She's got to be one of the most narrow-minded muggleborn witches ever."
"I know," Harry sighed. He did as Luna suggested, putting in a touch less of the special ingredient than the previous time. "I'll be happy if it just helps her to be somewhat less uptight. Exams are still more than three months away and she was already talking about preparing for them the other day. No fifteen year old should give themselves an ulcer by stressing out that much about their grades. I'm afraid she is going to be a complete nightmare next year for the OWLS."
"She probably will be," Luna agreed, smiling serenely at Harry's frown. "That doesn't mean it's your responsibility to fix her. You've never tried to fix me, no matter how strange people think I am."
"There's nothing wrong with you being strange. I am legitimately worried about Hermione's health. That's different."
"Some would say that you should be worried about my mental health."
Harry looked up at that, trying to read the expression on Luna's face.
"It seems like you function just fine to me. Hermione's been known to not eat properly when she's stressing out about exams."
"Okay."
"But I'll keep an eye on you too, if it will make you feel better."
"I know you will, Harry," Luna smiled. "Did you ask Neville to join us?"
"Yes. My alibi confirmed that he would be available to help. He was a little flustered at the thought of all the girls that will be there. I don't know if that's just him being shy or if maybe he still has a little crush on Hermione."
"Or maybe one of the others," Luna offered. "He did go to the Yule Ball with Parvati, and Lavender is one of the more well developed girls in your year."
"True, but I don't think he thinks of Parvati like that- not sure why really."
"I agree, she's very beautiful. What about Lavender then?"
"She and Neville wouldn't work," Harry chuckled. "Lavender's as outgoing as Neville is quiet. Plus, I've noticed that he hasn't been one to leer at her the way a lot of the guys have."
"Oh," Luna answered with a pout. "I'm surprised you caught that."
"I live with Pansy," he replied with a shrug. "She is very perceptive and shrewd, and some of that was bound to rub off on me."
"I can see that," Luna nodded. "Alright, then why would Neville not be flustered by Pansy or me?"
"I guess he could be, just in different ways. Neville is intimidated by Pansy, and he still doesn't know what to make of you."
"Which I find quite amusing," Luna giggled.
"I'm sure. I don't know if he generally finds Pansy attractive or not. I caught him gawking at her the night of the Yule Ball, but that was true of a lot of guys. And he's just about the last one I think would try to make a move on my girlfriend. As for you-"
"Yes?"
"I don't know. You're not around him as much as the other girls, so I'm not sure. I could find out if you want?" Harry wondered if she was interested in Neville by the way this conversation was going.
"No, that's fine. I am curious about which people might find me attractive, but it doesn't really matter. I'm not interested in dating right now."
"I guess I won't have to scare off any guys for awhile then."
"If I get any bothersome admirers, I'll be sure to let you know."
Harry just laughed as he put the pan into the oven and sat down by Luna to wait.
"Longbottom!"
Neville was barely able to stifle a yelp as he looked up in surprise from his book at Pansy, who was glaring at him menacingly. Two of the three girls behind her were giggling too, and that didn't do anything to help his nerves. It had been a lot longer than a few minutes, and he had become engrossed in his book about magical aquatic plants of the Mediterranean.
"Yes?" he managed to croak without his voice cracking or gulping in terror, but it was a close thing as well. He still didn't understand why Harry was dating someone like Pansy. Sure, he saw how hot she looked at the Yule Ball, but she was just so mean and scary most of the time. Then again, it sometimes seemed like Harry was missing the ability to fear like a normal person, judging from some of the things Neville had seen.
"We're going. Are you joining us?"
"Right, yes. Let me just put this up."
He ran up to the dorms to put away his book, trying not to think about the giggles behind him but thankful for Hermione's voice scolding the others about not picking on him. At times like this, he was envious of Harry's confidence. He had no idea how he could talk to girls, especially ones like Parvati and Lavender, without blushing.
Once he ran back down the stairs, he saw them waiting over by the doorway out of Gryffindor tower. He followed along behind them.
"I guess you know the way to the kitchen?" Neville asked Hermione, who was trailing behind to keep him company.
"I do, but we aren't going there," she replied. "Apparently, Pansy and Luna decided it would be more fun to treat this like a party, so they set up a room for us to hang out in while Harry did the baking."
"Oh. I didn't know Harry could bake."
"I didn't either until a couple of months ago. He's pretty good at it too."
"Where are we going then?"
"Right here," Pansy answered as they pulled to a stop in front of a door one floor down from the Gryffindor common room.
"Good timing," Luna said as she threw open the door and invited them all inside. "We just arrived, and the brownies should be cool enough to eat in a couple of minutes."
Harry was standing next to a low table in front of a couple of couches and chairs. The room looked like a disused classroom, but a large space had been cleared in the middle of it. There was a second table off to one side with a large phonograph and a box nearby that Lavender immediately headed for.
"Where did you get these records?" she asked.
"They're mine and Harry's," Pansy replied.
"Yours? But aren't you a pureblood?"
"A pureblood who lives in the muggle world with Harry," she pointed out.
"Yes, but still, I just..." Lavender trailed off as she flipped through the records. "Which of you likes Depeche Mode?"
"Both of us, but I like them more than Harry," Pansy answered.
"I don't know about that," Harry argued, as he was cutting the brownies and placing them on plates. "You might have liked them first, but there's no way you like any of their songs more than how much I love Blue Dress."
"You just like that song because..."
"Because?" Lavender asked as she looked over at Pansy who was glaring at Harry and his grin. And it looked like she was fighting back a blush, which was very out of character. "Ooh, now I think I really want to know."
"Do you know the song?" Harry asked.
"Yes."
"Do you remember the lyrics?"
She thought about it for a moment and a huge smile lit up her face. "Did she... did she put on a blue dress to dance to that song? For you?"
"Harry, not another word," Pansy answered before being smothered in a hug by Lavender who was squealing with delight.
"You are my hero." Lavender let her go, still grinning widely. "That's the type of thing I've only dreamed about doing. We've got to talk about this more later."
Harry and Parvati led the laughter as Pansy reluctantly agreed.
"And here I thought you were all coming for the brownies," Harry pouted as he winked at Luna. "More for you and me then."
"No, no, brownies first, music later," Parvati objected.
"Well, I suppose I did make these at your insistence," Harry said with a smile, handing a plate over to Parvati. "Ladies first."
She took her first bite and let out a suggestive moan.
"I think she likes it," Luna said with a grin before turning to Harry with her hands out. "Me next."
Harry passed a plate to each of the girls before taking one of the last to Neville.
"Savor it, Nev."
"Alright." Neville took a small bite and gave him a chocolatey smile. "This is really good, Harry."
"Thanks." Harry sat at the end of one couch with Luna and Pansy, nearest to the only other guy in the room. He didn't want to make things too awkward for Neville, since he was Harry's alibi after all. "I ran into a little problem. I cut the portions evenly, but there are seven of us and twelve brownies. That means you and I will both have to make do with a single one. In my experience, you never want to get between a woman and chocolate."
"You have learned well, grasshopper," Luna said as she patted Harry on the shoulder.
"I try."
"Are they still good enough?" he asked the spacey blonde. Hopefully, he would join her in feeling spacey soon.
"I think so," she replied as she nodded to her right. Hermione was giggling at something Lavender said. That had to be a good sign.
"Great." Harry took another bite and let it just sit in his mouth for a moment. He had used slightly less sugar but made up for it with extra milk chocolate chips and to his taste at least, it worked out well. The chocolate was strong enough to mask most of the marijuana, and at least on that account, he thought that he had definitely succeeded in slightly improving over last time.
"So, do you know what's next for the tournament, Harry?" Neville was asking pleasantly enough, but it was hard for Harry to control his scowl.
"No. We're supposed to be told something a month before the final task, so I don't have anything to work on in the meantime. Other than the usual with Moody."
"Only you would want extra Defense lessons with someone like him," Neville snorted. Since when did Neville snort? "That eye of his freaks me out. Can you imagine trying to use something like that? It gives me a headache just looking at it."
"Better that than being a one-eyed auror, I guess. Besides after the World Cup and with this supposed rogue Death Eater on the loose, I need all the practice I can get. Although, a rogue Death Eater could be some help, come to think of it. Do you think he would take requests?"
"I think it's hard to petition most mysterious assassins, but you could always try," Luna suggested. "Magic works in mysterious ways sometimes."
"I think you just like saying mysterious," Harry countered.
"It's a nice word. Mysterious. And it rhymes with Sirius."
Did she say his name, or did she mean the word instead? Harry squinted at Luna, trying to figure it out.
"Woof!"
She barked at him. Of course she meant Sirius. He didn't remember telling her about him being an animagus. Then again, maybe Pansy did.
"Why is Luna panting with her tongue sticking out?"
"Woof!" Harry added, turning to Neville. "Give us your best dog impression."
"Um."
"Or else, Luna has been known to initiate tickle fights."
"Arf?" she asked threateningly.
"Woof!" Neville agreed.
The other girls in the group laughed at the trio of barking goofballs.
"Good choice, Neville," Hermione said happily. "I was the victim the last time Luna decided to start a tickle fight. I really don't think you want her to do that today."
"Yeah, um, probably not," he agreed with a blush.
"Luna won't pick on Neville, will you girl?"
She gave a happy bark, and Harry scratched behind her ear.
"Good girl."
"Arf?" she nosed against his shoulder then motioned down towards her empty plate.
"I think that's dog for gimme," Harry said as he stood up and got Luna a second helping.
"Woof!"
"It's no wonder you talk to Hedwig," Neville suggested with a laugh.
"Yeah, she's good practice for Luna," Harry replied as he handed her plate back to the little blonde Ravenclaw who barked happily before shoving a huge bite in her mouth. He had finished his own brownie, but Luna tapped him on the shoulder.
"Open."
Harry followed her command and she fed him a bite of her second serving.
"Don't say I never did anything for you," she teased. Harry snickered.
"You know, Hedwig has never tried to feed me before."
"And I don't steal all the bacon either. I guess I'm the better pet then," Luna said proudly.
"Just don't say that where she can hear you. I have a feeling her talons would hurt a lot in a tickle fight."
"Okay, I'm putting on Violator," Lavender said as she set aside her empty plate and stood up. "I can dance up an appetite before I have another."
"Good idea," Pansy agreed. "Don't let our pet Luna eat all the rest of them, Harry."
"I hope I can handle that."
"You and Neville will just have to keep me engaged in the meanwhile."
"I'll help," Hermione said as she used her wand to levitate the other chair in order to sit next to Neville. "Harry and Luna together are more than any single person can handle."
"Thank you Hermione," Neville said.
"You're welcome. So, any ideas on what we can do to keep these two lunatics in line?"
"Uh, no, not really."
"We could play truth or dare," Luna suggested.
"No thanks," Hermione groaned. Neville shook his head too- he knew that playing truth or dare would be terrifying with the present company, and he didn't even have an idea of how embarrassing Luna (or Pansy) might make things.
"How about MASH then?" Luna offered a second idea.
"What's MASH?" Neville asked.
"Pansy told me about it. It stands for Mansion, Flat, Shack, House."
"Why is it called MASH then?"
"There is an a in flat, you know," Luna answered with a completely deadpan tone.
"In the States, they call flats apartments," Hermione told Neville while rolling her eyes at Luna. "How do you play?"
It took several minutes to explain, as Luna seemed to be intentionally twisting the rules to be as confusing as possible, Lavender would try to correct her, and Pansy and Parvati just laughed about the whole thing.
In the end, Harry offered to go first, and he made sure that Luna was the one with the parchment and quill. If nothing else, she might just doodle enough to keep her attention from wanting to eat the rest of the brownies.
Also, he made sure to ask Dobby to bring some more butterbeers for everyone. Sipping one of those should help to keep Luna nicely sugared up, at least until dinner.
Several minutes later, Harry was told that he would marry Pansy (with a round of aws and giggles from the crowd), have six and a half children, become a baker, and be fabulously wealthy while living in a shack.
With that many kids, he hoped it was at least a big shack. Otherwise, he'd need to learn every space expansion charm he could find.
Hermione was frustrated but gave in when Luna convinced her to have her turn next just to get it over with before the three dancing girls could join in. The idea of being a middle class librarian living in a house didn't sound too bad, but having nine and a third children (Luna apparently loved fractions) while ending up married to Ron both made her protest.
Harry was just glad to see that she seemed to finally be truly over her crush on his former best mate. He wasn't really angry at Ron anymore, but he was glad to not have to deal with the far too frequent arguing and fighting that Hermione and Ron used to engage in.
The first side of the album was over, so Pansy, Parvati, and Lavender sat down as Harry cut them all second servings of brownies. That meant they had three more people to offer suggestions for Luna, which made things appropriately bizarre.
For example, her choices of potential spouses ranged from annoying (Harry, who rolled his eyes when Lavender suggested it), to morbid (Moaning Myrtle), to gross (Hagrid), to grossly morbid (the ghost of Snape). Harry was inexplicably pleased when Luna first eliminated George Weasley and she said that she didn't like gingers.
Pansy just giggled, hugging her and saying 'that's my girl.' She would have been horrified at Luna, or any of her friends really, ending up with one of the Weasleys.
However, that did make things even more interesting when Luna's supposed destiny was revealed. Ending up living in a flat, becoming a journalist, being poor, and having two children were all rather boring outcomes.
But apparently the party game gods had determined that Harry wasn't the only one who was going to end up married to Pansy.
Luna's response was that she didn't want to come between Harry and Pansy, so she would just have to marry them both, which set off a round of giggles from most of the party, while Neville sputtered and choked on a sip of butterbeer.
And he was of course mortified now that it was his turn. Lavender held off on turning the record over so they could all propose choices.
The girls weren't even being too awful for the most part, and he was thankful that Pansy in particular was playing nice for the sake of Neville's obvious embarrassment at being the center of attention.
In the end, it actually was Harry who caused the problem.
Because he threw out Hermione's name as a potential wife, and the fates decreed it to be so.
Neville got up and ran out of the room, blushing madly. Hermione chased after him, trying to be consoling, although Harry thought she was probably the last person Neville wanted to talk to at that moment.
"So much for my alibi," Harry groaned, trying to turn it into a joke.
"I'll be your alibi, Harry."
"Um, Luna, you're a girl. The alibi was having another guy here to try to stem any more silly rumors about me."
"Who cares about the people that would gossip like that? Did you know some of them thought you were not only the heir of Slytherin but actually his reincarnation as well? That's completely ridiculous."
Harry briefly wondered at Luna of all people saying something was ridiculous.
"Of course, if Harry were going to be the reincarnation of anyone, it would have to be Merlin," Lavender giggled. "That's what the books would have said anyway."
"Ugh. Why does it always have to be someone famous whenever people talk about being reincarnated? Why is no one ever just like a tavern keeper or a butcher or something?"
"Or you could have been an animal," Parvati suggested. "In Hinduism, you aren't necessarily reborn as a human."
"Thank you," Harry replied. "That sounds so much simpler. I might like to be an owl like Hedwig in another life. Free to fly around whenever I feel like it-"
"And all the bacon you can eat," Luna added.
"You do have experience in hunting down a rat," Pansy said. "Plus, trying to find the snitch in quidditch would be sort of like hunting as a bird."
"Exactly. If I'm reincarnated, I want to be Hedwig in my next life."
"You'll have to improve your haughty stare. I've seen how she glares at you when you bother her," Pansy replied.
"Then you'll have to give me lessons. Didn't you say you could teach me a better haughty look last year?"
"Probably."
"That's enough of that," Lavender interrupted as she got up and bounced over to the phonograph. "Time for more music and dancing."
Harry sat back against the couch, deciding to relax. While he knew Pansy enjoyed it for the obvious catchy melody and beat, the lyrics about enjoying silence always appealed to him more. After years trapped in a cupboard, silence was an old friend to Harry.
The blonde cuddled up next to him was humming along pleasantly.
"Don't you want to dance Luna?"
"I'm not much of a dancer," she shrugged. "You know Harry, I always thought it was obvious that you would be Arthur reborn, if anyone. The orphaned hero destined to save the world and all that. Which makes Pansy Guinevere, I guess."
"Who would you be then? The only other girl in that story I can remember was Morgana le Fay and I don't think of you as much of a villain. No offense."
"None taken. That just means you won't see me coming."
Harry looked down at her typical dreamy expression and couldn't contain his snort.
"You wouldn't turn on me Luna. Maybe Hermione could be Morgana then? She can be kind of shifty sometimes."
"You've forgotten Morgause," Luna said. "She was Arthur's half-sister who seduced him and was the mother of Mordred."
"So, I should beware of any sons of yours then?"
"No, I'm not sure if I would want to be Morgause either. I'd rather be your Lancelot."
"My greatest knight who also would have an affair with my wife?"
"It won't be an affair if I marry you both though," she teased. "You're my best friends, I would never come between the two of you. I don't think anything could, really."
"I'd hope not," Harry muttered.
"Don't worry, Harry. I predict a happy ending for the two of you."
"You're missing Trelawney's huge glasses to give a proper prophecy."
"I'll just have to borrow yours, I guess," she said as she reached up and pulled them off him. "How can you see through these things? They're giving me a headache."
"You had better hurry with your prediction then."
"Right." Luna cleared her throat and spoke in an even more breathy tone than usual. "The hero with the lightning scar and his love, the cunning lady, shall prevail against their enemies, against all war and darkness. They shall live happily ever after.
"And Harry won't have to be a baker unless he really wants to. But his friend Luna will always be happy to share his brownies."
"I think I could live with that."
She handed him back his glasses and stretched out on the couch, while using Harry's stomach for a pillow. A few minutes later, when a certain song began, she reached up and tapped on his chin to get his attention.
"Will you tell me about the dress?" Luna asked quietly.
"Probably should do it later," Harry whispered back. "I don't want to annoy Pansy. That's the first time I've seen her have much of a sense of shame."
"I think it's because Neville was here. If it was only the rest of us, then it would have just been girl talk."
"And that doesn't count?"
"Not in the same way."
"I guess that sort of makes sense."
"We'll just have to talk her into showing me this blue dress some time in private. I still haven't gotten to see her Yule Ball outfit either."
"Thanks for reminding me of that," Harry growled. "I've got to get her to wear it again."
"My birthday is coming up," Luna suggested.
"Well, a special occasion does call for a special dress then. Luna, you're a genius."
"You're not so bad yourself."
The rest of the afternoon passed quickly enough as Lavender was delighted by the music and the girls continued to dance. Harry joined them after a while, and they even got Luna to skip and hop around merrily in something that could at least loosely be considered dancing.
Hermione and Neville never did return.
Once dinner time rolled around, Dobby popped in to transport the phonograph and albums back to their rooms and handle the clean up.
Harry and the girls all headed down to the Great Hall, but Lavender dropped back and pulled him aside for a moment.
"Where did you learn how to make pot brownies?" she asked in a whisper.
"Last summer at a party."
"Harry, you are my new best friend. Do you have any more?"
"Yeah..."
"We've got to do this again some time. Please?"
"We probably could. But if you try to throw a big party we'll burn through it quick and I'd have to have a lot more time to bake."
"We'll keep it small then."
"Okay, but don't tell anyone. How did you know?"
"I have an older sister and two cousins who mostly live in the muggle world. You think pretty teenage girls who go to parties don't know about weed?"
"Right, that seems obvious."
"Parvati and Neville are purebloods, so they wouldn't be likely to have been exposed to it, and Hermione, um..."
"Yeah, she's not the party girl type," he chuckled.
"Right," Lavender quickly agreed, clearly not trying to say anything too insulting about the girl who had been Harry's best friend for four years. It did seem like Hermione was trying to get along better with her dorm mates, and Harry wondered how much the fact that she no longer spent all her time with a couple of guys might have helped that along.
Not being quite so over eager in class was almost certainly a factor too.
When they sat down at the Gryffindor table that night, neither Hermione nor Neville were there. They came in separately later and sat far apart, so Harry had a feeling that her efforts at trying to help him get over his embarrassment earlier that afternoon had failed.
Harry had seen more than a few people glance his way when he came in with four girls, and all of them a bit sweaty, although Parvati, Lavender, and Pansy had used charms to fix their hair. Luna didn't care of course, and Harry had given up on that a long time ago.
Besides, Pansy mussed it up a bit and said he looked fine, so he trusted her judgment. Her opinion about his appearance was the only one that mattered to him anyway.
But he had a feeling that there was a new round of gossip starting up, so he just sat down and listened to Luna tell a story about some sort of lost magical creature from South Patagonia, wherever that was. He understood how the rainbow-furred cannibalistic squirrel went extinct, based on their diet if nothing else. Luna claimed that their incredibly bright plumage worked as a sort of magical camouflage though, as most muggles in the area could not believe anything so colorful could actually exist.
Whatever cares he might have had about rumors quickly slipped away.
Luna was the best.
And that's why a week later he found himself sitting next to her father on a bench outside an Ann Summers store. Harry was wearing a glamour to look older and he made sure it was an unusual one so that he could try to look a little less out of place next to Xenophilius Lovegood, who was dressed as a rather prototypical old hippie. He even had his own home-made tie-dye shirt that he dug out of a closet.
Harry wasn't dressed nearly as outrageously, but he did let Luna and Pansy charm his hair blue. It was the birthday girl's wish, although technically her birthday was the coming Monday. Thankfully, it was a Hogsmeade weekend, so the foursome all made arrangements and had their house-elves transport them off to the muggle world.
The shopping trip idea was Pansy's and considering what the mannequins in the store window were wearing, Harry thought it was a good one as he knew that there was no way that Pansy wouldn't end up buying herself a few things as well. He would probably be out of muggle money by the end of the day, but it was going to be so worth it.
"I'd like to thank you for this, Harry."
"It's more Pansy's idea than mine."
"True, but I can't thank her at the moment. You two mean a lot to my daughter. Plus, something like this," he said as he motioned to the lingerie store, "isn't really the type of thing a father knows how to do. Times like this always remind me how much I wish Selene was still here. For Luna's sake even more than my own maybe."
Harry didn't really know how to respond.
"Luna means a lot to us too."
"You haven't told me about any boys you've had to scare off."
"No, that hasn't been an issue yet," Harry shrugged. "Luna's told me she isn't interested in dating anyone right now, and I guess I already intimidated enough people last year, so no one has been bothering her too much. Parvati, one of our other friends, has a sister in Ravenclaw that she asked to keep an eye on Luna too. Just in case."
"I appreciate that," Xenophilius replied.
"So, do you have anything planned for this summer yet? I know you and Luna often go on trips, searching for lost magical creatures and things like that."
"Not yet, but I often have readers write in who think they have spotted the odd and unusual somewhere."
"I guess you've probably been to a lot of different countries then."
"Oh yes, dozens by now. I'm not sure I remember them all, to be honest. There are more than a few places where the magical governments don't align with the muggle, so borders aren't always the same. It does make international port keys confusing at times to muggleborns. Apparently, the muggles have recently separated the Czechs and Slovaks into their own nations, but in the magical world they were never joined in the first place."
"Hmm. I guess with the signing of the statute of secrecy all those years ago, the magical governments parted from the muggles and politics have been different since then."
"Wars too. For example, magical France never surrendered to the Germans in World War II. Wizards and witches played a huge part of the French resistance."
"Magic would have helped protect them from the Nazis, right?"
"Precisely."
"Damn." Harry could only shake his head in disgust. "It's too bad we don't have a real teacher for history at Hogwarts. I mean, I like catching a nap while Binns drones on about goblins every day, but I bet there are a lot of interesting stories we could be learning instead."
"I would usually do my assignments for Potions in the class, personally. I've heard they got Slughorn to come out of retirement this year."
"Yeah, and he is an infinitely better teacher than Snape ever was."
"Luna tells me you're in his Slug Club."
"I am," Harry admitted. "It's not exactly my cup of tea, but it has been useful to be able to socialize with some people that wouldn't be in my normal circle."
"I never was one of his favorites," Xenophilius replied as a sad smile came over his face. "But Selene was. I believe she knew your mother somewhat because of that. I remember she was devastated when she heard of your parents' deaths."
"I wish I could have met her."
"I'm sure she would have liked you."
Two laughing girls came strolling out the door, arms loaded with bags. Pansy was charmed to look older as she was supposedly taking her younger cousin shopping, and they both had clearly been enjoying themselves.
"Did you spend all my money?" Harry asked with a chuckle.
"Not quite," Pansy answered with a smirk. "I made sure to save enough so we could go out to eat afterwards, and personally, I don't feel like going to the Three Broomsticks yet again. Why don't we find something around here?"
"I saw a Chinese place a couple of streets over," Harry suggested.
"That would be excellent," Xenophilius said with a large grin. "I haven't had any Cantonese cuisine since the last time I went to Hong Kong when Luna was little. Do you remember that sugarplum?"
"Not very much of it, sadly."
"We'll have to go again some time then."
"Well, I guess we can eat least have some of the food today," Harry said as he lead the group in the direction of the restaurant he had previously spotted. They stopped briefly near an alley between two businesses to call Winky and Dobby to take all of the girls' packages off. Harry still had one present back at Hogwarts- he hoped Winky didn't mind too much when Luna asked her to wear a wig so they could look alike.
From what he had seen of the house-elf, she was a lot happier, and Harry had a feeling that Winky would feel it was an honor to be asked to match her miss Luna.
It was later that Sunday night, and Harry was putting his own formal outfit from the Yule Ball on. Luna had talked Pansy into getting all dressed up again since she had missed seeing it the first time, and Pansy had therefore proclaimed that if she had to look fancy then so did he.
Because of how much he loved Pansy's dress, he was happily following orders. Harry was also wearing his contacts again, and he was considering wearing them more often in the future. At least for the third task, he didn't want to chance his glasses falling off in the middle of whatever danger they threw at him next.
Pansy had disappeared into her room two hours ago, and Harry had once again been ordered to play records to keep her entertained while she was getting ready.
Midnight was fast approaching and Pansy summoned him into the second bathroom so she could fix his hair with a bit of gel to add the final touch.
Pansy looked just as incredible, although if he could have paid closer attention he might have noticed that she hadn't been quite as meticulous with her hair and that she was barely wearing any makeup.
But when your girlfriend has a slit up to her thigh and is showing off more cleavage than at any other time, a guy can only notice so much.
He would do his best to make sure not to drool in front of Luna.
"Ready?" Pansy asked, noting Harry's slightly vacant expression.
"I think so."
"Then let's wait out in the living room."
They had just gone out and noticed the birthday cake that Dobby had finished and set out on the table in front of the fire, with plates and cutlery all waiting for the birthday girl.
"Nice work, Dobby."
"Thank you master Harry." The elf had a huge grin, but before he could say anything else, he disappeared with a pop.
A moment later, he returned with Luna, who was dressed in pyjamas as if ready for bed.
"Oh my! You both look fabulous. Let me get a closer look."
She skipped over to them and then walked around them both, taking in their appearances. Harry had left the room more brightly lit than usual, especially for that late at night. Officially, it was for Luna's benefit, but obviously he was enjoying how sexy Pansy looked too.
"Harry, you look very handsome. I think you definitely look better without glasses."
"I've been told that by a couple of people," he chuckled. "I'll probably start wearing contacts more often."
"Excellent. Now Pansy, you look... absolutely incredible. You're sex on two legs. How in the world did Harry keep his hands off you long enough to go to the ball?"
"Well, he knew that the better he behaved, the more fun he would have by the end of the night."
"Your willpower is amazing, Harry."
"See, that's what I keep telling her. I haven't ever talked her into skipping classes to just stay in bed all day."
"True, but you have tried to do just that a few times on the weekends," Pansy argued with a laugh.
"Who can blame him?"
"Thank you Luna."
"Alright, now we just need one more thing to make the recreation complete. Music!" Luna went over to the phonograph and flipped through the records, apparently looking for one in particular. "Ah! Here we go."
Harry knew the song immediately and smiled, having a feeling Pansy might have helped her choose the music.
"May I have this dance?"
"You may," Pansy replied, taking his hands as he stepped up to her and they began to slow dance to the familiar slide guitar and breathy vocals of Mazzy Star.
In truth, Luna had her own reasons for choosing that song, although Harry was correct that Pansy had suggested it. She smiled as she watched her best friends dance together, even throwing a color charm to give the light in the room a hazy, blue tone.
For a few minutes, Harry completely forgot about anything other than the girl in his arms. Pansy smirked at him every time he glanced down at her cleavage.
When the song was over, Luna clapped and called out "Bravo!"
The music was turned off and the charm was ended, the light going back to normal.
"Now it's time for cake," the birthday girl said happily.
"No, first it's time for us to sing Happy Birthday," Harry replied, and they did so while Dobby snapped his fingers to light the candles.
"Make a wish!"
Luna was in a very good mood as she blew out her candles and ate way too much cake. Harry and Pansy had to be more careful, not wanting to drop any crumbs on their formal wear.
"Do you mind if I sleep in the extra bedroom tonight?" Luna asked when she had finished her third serving.
"I don't care," Harry shrugged. "Dobby, could you take Luna back to her dorm early enough in the morning so that she won't get caught or in trouble?"
"Dobby can do that for miss Luna."
"Thank you, Dobby," Luna replied. She turned to Harry and Pansy with a smile on her face. "I guess I should get some sleep and let you two get out of your clothes."
"It's a good thing we took naps earlier," Pansy said with a small yawn. She stood up and hugged Luna, leaning in close to whisper something in her ear. It was then Harry's turn, as he hugged her and wished he a happy birthday once again.
"Good night," Luna said as she happily skipped off to bed.
"Now, for my favorite part of the night. Helping you out of that dress again," Harry said in a quiet growl that made Pansy giggle.
Pansy watched as Dobby put the left over cake away and began to douse the lights. She leaned in, taking Harry's arm as they slowly headed for their own bedroom.
"Harry, I love you," she laughed. "I hope you are never cured of this addiction to me."
"Me too."
What Harry didn't know was that Pansy had borrowed his invisibility cloak and left it on the bed for Luna. She covered herself with it and hurried to sneak into the other bedroom before Harry and Pansy could head inside and close the door.
Pansy had whispered that she would try to make sure to slow Harry down to give her enough time, and she succeeded. The birthday girl had requested another show, but this time Pansy didn't want to take a chance that Harry might feel inhibited.
She knew that he would be more assertive if he didn't know that Luna was there watching them. Even more so when she had him leave the lights on- Harry was a very visual person and loved looking at her.
Luna would be able to better enjoy things that way than in the dark too. And this was supposed to be educational after all, so the more Luna saw, the more she would learn.
At least, that's what Pansy was telling herself.
Almost as soon as the door was closed, she felt him wrap his arms around her and slide his hand up her thigh. Pansy loved Harry's reaction to the slit up the side of the dress.
"No underwear?"
"I wanted things to be authentic to the night of the Yule Ball," she purred in response as his fingers slowly began to tease her.
"You are officially a goddess," Harry chuckled.
"Then shouldn't you start worshiping me?"
"Of course, my love."
The next day all three of them would be completely exhausted as Harry's enthusiasm had lasted very late into the night. Pansy enjoyed his attention, as he seemed intent on trying to make her pass out.
Luna was glad she had learned the silencing charm early so that she hadn't been discovered by Harry.
Her classmates wondered why she kept quietly singing to herself all day long.
"Fade into you... I think it's strange you never knew..."
The rest of March passed in relative calm. Harry was thrilled to have had a third month pass by without any adventures or danger.
The first Saturday of April found him once again in a Slug Club gathering.
He was glad to see that Hermione and Neville had gotten past the embarrassment from the impromptu party a few weeks earlier. From what she had told him, Hermione was flattered that Neville seemed to fancy her, but after what had happened earlier that year with Krum, she just wasn't in the mood for dating.
Harry could understand that.
They were getting along well though that night, and even speaking with Susan Bones. He wondered if maybe Hermione was trying to play matchmaker there.
Once Slughorn's attention was focused on something having to do with the ministry that Diggory and a couple of the others were talking about, Harry slipped away to join Pansy, who was talking to Flora and Hestia.
"Harry, just the man we wanted to see," Hestia said quietly.
"What can I do for you lovely ladies?"
"Such a charmer," she giggled.
"Not now Hes," Flora interjected. "You should know that we got a letter from our parents telling us to stay at the castle for the Easter holiday."
"No great hardship there," her sister added with a grin.
"True. I'm just wondering what they might be so busy with."
"With everything else that's gone on the last several months, that could be suspicious," Pansy agreed. "Does your family have a house-elf?"
"No. Why do you ask?"
"Just a thought I had," Pansy replied, although Harry caught the look in her eye and wondered if she was thinking the same thing he was. He would have to talk to Dobby later that night.
"Never mind that, has there been anything unusual going on down in the dungeons?" she asked.
"No," Hestia answered. "Thankfully, Slughorn keeps a closer eye on things than Snape ever did. Warrington still acts like a sleaze, but most of the girls keep their eyes open, so there haven't been any problems."
"What about Nott?"
"What about him?" Flora replied.
"How has he been acting?" Pansy asked.
"I'm guessing Slughorn must have said something to him because he's been keeping his head down, especially the last month or so. I don't think he wants any attention after what happened earlier this year."
"Plus, he had so many detentions," Hestia giggled. "I think Harry scares him."
"Good," Harry said. "He should be fucking scared."
"Not now, Harry," Pansy chided. "Little Teddy isn't worth getting angry over."
"Little Teddy?"
"That's what his older sister told us she called him when he was annoying her."
"Oh, that's just perfect," Hestia answered with a grin. "I'm going to make sure that everyone knows to call him that from now on."
"That fucking cretin deserves it," Flora added with a scowl. "I can't believe some people are stupid enough to think love potions are somehow charming or funny. I'd gut anyone that even tried to give one to me or Hes."
"Thanks, sis. But let's talk about something more pleasant please."
"Agreed," Pansy said.
"Alright. Did you know that the rumors about Harry's supposed harem have dried up this spring?" Hestia asked.
"Finally," Harry sighed.
"Don't be like that. Flora and I haven't even been mentioned in any of them yet," Hestia said with a teasing smile. "What's a girl got to do to get some nasty gossip started about a possibly shameful relationship with you, Harry?"
"Look somewhat disheveled?"
"That's all?"
"Some people have overly active imaginations," he replied with a shrug.
"We don't need to be in the spotlight like that right now anyway," Flora interrupted before her sister could respond. "But Harry, would you do us a favor?"
"Sure."
"Beat the crap out of the Bulgarian sleazebag and the stuck up French tart in the last event of the tournament."
"I'll try," he laughed.
"Your country is counting on you, Harry." Hestia was grinning again. "So, no pressure."