Everything happened in a flash—
Superman was sleeping too soundly to hear the door opening. Batman woke up startled, but his brain booted up a little slow. By the time Selina's claws were near his face, it was too late to dodge.
Luckily, Batman's scream startled Superman awake. He quickly yanked Batman backward and instinctively raised his arm to block.
With a sharp "Zzzpp," sparks flew off Superman's arm. Turning his head, he locked eyes with an extremely furious pair of green eyes.
Batman recognized Selina and quickly shouted, "Hey! Wait! Selina, we're not bad guys!"
Selina, realizing she couldn't shove Superman aside, retreated a couple of steps. But she clearly wasn't planning to let it go, as she already pulled a whip out of her bag.
"Selina!" Batman shouted again, "We're Batman and Superman from another universe!"
Holding her whip, Selina sneered, "Then why don't you go to Batman's room? What are you doing in mine?!"
"This is your room?!" Batman looked more surprised than Selina. "We saw the room with the Batman puppet and thought that was—"
"That's Bruce's room, for f***'s sake!" Selina yelled at them. "Are you blind? Didn't see the poster on the wall with my face?!"
Batman had seen it, but he thought Bruce had deliberately plastered pictures of his wife on the wall. Turns out it was Selina herself who put them up.
"Sorry, we really didn't know," Superman apologized hastily. "We were just sleeping here for a while, I promise we didn't mess up anything. If you're worried, I can clean the place spotless."
He then walked to the corner of the room and blew a soft breath. All the dust in the room was cleared away.
Only then did Selina lower her whip, giving Batman an irritated look before saying, "I don't care where you're from; just get out of my room right now. Or I'll call someone…"
Batman and Superman scrambled out.
After leaving the room, both of them exhaled deeply. Superman couldn't help but softly ask Batman, "Is Selina usually this fierce?"
"Of course not," Batman said. "She's very gentle with me. Occasionally she gets angry, but it's just small tantrums."
Superman looked skeptical.
The two entered the elevator and soon arrived at the ground floor lobby. As the elevator doors opened, the brightness dazzled their eyes for a moment.
It was just past 8 a.m., but the entire lobby was so bright it seemed like noon. Batman felt momentarily disoriented as he walked out, even wondering if he'd arrived in heaven. The sunlight was so potent it almost felt tangible.
Even Superman had to shield his eyes with his hand. He glanced at a massive floor-to-ceiling window on one side of the lobby—untinted glass couldn't block any UV rays, and sunlight flooded in overwhelmingly, making everything else appear muted in comparison.
What the hell is this?! Is this still Gotham?!
Not every Gotham is devoid of sunlight. At least Batman's universe had occasional sunny days.
But Gotham is a city on America's East Coast, located near latitude 41 degrees on the coastline. It's not a tropical city, nor is it in Southern Europe... where the hell did this intense UV come from?
It wasn't even noon but 8-something in the morning. The season was late autumn. Shouldn't the light look nothing like this? Did physics cease to exist, or did Gotham have a separate sun of its own?
The two shielded their eyes as they walked outside. Right beyond the Gotham Hotel's entrance lay the ocean. At this moment, the sea met the sky, and everything was clear and bright.
It was still early, but the beach was already packed with tourists. Sun loungers and shade stalls were crowded: people buying coconuts, strolling with kids, flipping over for sunbaths. For a fleeting moment, Batman wondered if he was in Hawaii.
Superman walked over while scrolling through his phone, saying, "This really is a tourist hotspot. Look at this."
Batman saw the headline on Superman's phone: "Gotham's tourist numbers for this quarter increased 205% year-over-year; visitor stay duration now exceeds Metropolis."
Looking again at the blue skies, white clouds, turquoise waters, and sandy beaches outside, Batman concluded this probably wasn't fake news.
"Why exactly are we here?" Batman suddenly turned to ask.
"Wasn't it you who said you knew more about the situation here? That we could prepare here… uh, I mean, honestly, I don't really remember either." The super journalist's brain was still sharp.
Batman nodded with satisfaction and headed towards a coconut vendor's stand.
Half an hour later, each of them cradled a coconut as they lounged on sun chairs. A breeze blew from one side of the beach. Batman glanced in that direction and spotted a restaurant perched on a cliff.
"How about we grab lunch over there?"
"Got money?"
"Charge it to Wayne Enterprises' account."
Superman nodded and said, "Alright. Though I don't see what's special about eating in a high-altitude restaurant—I mean, you weren't that impressed when I ate a sandwich hovering outside your window."
The two enjoyed a laid-back morning. Batman swam a couple of laps in the ocean and discovered that Gotham's beach offered snorkeling—corals that should grow in tropical seas were thriving in the nearby waters here. No wonder tourists came, defying the seasons for a visit.
Batman grew curious. He wanted to see what else this Gotham had to offer, so he planned to rent a fishing boat for some sea angling in the afternoon.
Near noon, the two draped towels around their shoulders and headed to the cliffside restaurant. The place was bustling, but Batman managed to book a table using his status.
When handed the menu, Batman didn't even glance at the prices. Superman, however, was surprised and nervously nudged Batman's arm, whispering, "Are you sure you can charge this to Wayne Enterprises? This stuff is ridiculously expensive."
Batman gave the menu a casual glance. Although he saw a string of zeroes, he didn't seem to care and summoned the waiter to start ordering.
The dishes arrived swiftly, piled high and sumptuous. The two chatted as they ate, occasionally discussing alien invasions in Metropolis.
In their universe, Zod had visited Earth. It took the Justice League cooperating to drive him away. Though Zod caused some destruction, thanks to everyone's joint efforts, the damaged buildings and roads were quickly repaired. The public dismissed it as just another alien invasion.
When it came to the identity dynamic between Kryptonians and Earthlings, everyone in the Justice League simply felt bad for Superman—his home destroyed in childhood, cast away to a planet so far removed. After finally finding kind people to raise him and growing up healthily, hostile strangers from his home come hunting him down.
Batman especially thought Superman was unlucky—dealings with Luther day after day were bad enough, and just when he met someone from his planet, they wanted to kill him, adding endless trouble to his life.
Talking about this again, Superman said, "You know, in Battleworld, I mean, with the other supermen over there, I can't even bring up your parents."
"Can't bring them up?" Batman asked, chewing a piece of fish while looking at Superman. "Why not?"
"They said it's rude." Superman shrugged. "Once I accidentally mentioned it, I didn't know my face could make such a cold expression."
"They didn't blast you with heat vision?"
"Felt close," Superman said, looking aggrieved. "I said, 'At least your parents left you a fortune,' and suddenly all of them stared at me disapprovingly. It felt like they were going to chase me down."
"Then don't talk about it with them," Batman said. "And don't tell me all you supermen have nothing to talk about besides Batman."
"Um…"
"Seriously?"
"Generally speaking… overall… under normal circumstances… barring surprises, we mostly talk about Batman."
Batman let out a short exhale through his nose and lightly tapped Superman's arm with the back of his fork-wielding hand. "Don't listen to them—I think I'm pretty lucky too. In a world with so many poor kids left orphaned, at least I can afford to treat my friends to a fancy lunch like this."
Superman laughed, saying, "That's true. The food here's pretty good—maybe we should order another lemon fish…"
Both ate their fill. At checkout, Batman nodded at the waiter and said, "Charge it to Wayne Enterprises."
The waiter gave a polite smile: "We don't do accounts, sir."
Batman frowned. "You don't know who I am?"
"You're Bruce Wayne. But precisely because of that, we don't run accounts here."
Batman clenched his teeth as he glanced at Superman, who was still engrossed in his phone, oblivious.
What the f*** did this universe's Bruce Wayne even do?! What kind of restaurant won't put his meals on a tab?!
20 minutes later, freshly back from picking up Aisha, Selina dragged two crestfallen men out of the cliffside restaurant.
She rolled her eyes hard while Aisha stifled laughs behind her hand. Superman glanced around, then whispered to Batman, "You're really lucky. I much prefer you when you're rich."
Batman fought back the urge to call Bruce and rail at him.
After paying, Selina left, but Aisha stayed behind. She looked at Batman and said, "I've got the afternoon off. If you two hang out with me, I'll cover the bill."
Batman walked over, picked her up, pinched her cheek, and said, "I don't need you to pay my bill. I just need Bruce Wayne's card…"
"Trust me, there's no money on it," Aisha said while ticking off on her fingers. "Two cards are frozen by Thomas, one credit card by Martha, and the supplementary card seems to have no limit anymore either…"
Looking at Aisha's adorable face, Batman held back his urge to curse. He patted her head gently and asked, "Can you tell me why your dad is so broke?"
"Wrong! It's not my dad who's broke; it's the whole Wayne Enterprises. But my grandpa is rich." Digging into her jacket pocket, Aisha pulled out a card, saying proudly, "My grandparents gave it to me. No spending limit, use as much as you want."
Seeing Aisha's smug little face, Batman couldn't help but kiss her cheek lightly and say, "Alright then, Miss Wayne. Here's your chance to treat us. What do you want to do?"
"Let's build sandcastles! My parents never want to play—how about you two play with me?"
"Sure." Batman hefted her up briefly and said, "You weigh more than Damian at this age—you need more exercise."
As Batman looked away, Aisha pulled out her phone and sent Shiller a text: "I've got them occupied, Professor."