Cassian walked into his grandfather's study without knocking, invited by the door being left ajar. Isabelle was clattering in the adjacent room which resembled alchemist's lab. She was taking notes as she watched liquid evaporate while boiling above the oil lamp and condensate into a different flask. She looked at the mixture attentively, scribbling something in her notebook.
Cassian watched her from the back, equally curious and mesmerised with her actions.
Isabelle placed the notebook down looking back at the set up. She closed her eyes and let out the defeated sigh. She turned the oil lamp off, stopping the boiling within the glass flask.
Only now she noticed Cassian's presence and turned around to see him. She was surprised by his sudden appearance, still feeling as if she was infringing and pushing the boundary as she was using his grandfather's study.
Cassian took a step forward and moon shone through the window upon his face.
The moment hung between them, suspended like the flecks of silver dust swirling in the air. Isabelle has spent so long pretending not to notice Cassian but now, as he stepped into the pool of moonlight filtering through the tall windows, she couldn't look away.
The glow outlined him in an ethereal halo, casting sharp relief on the angles of his face. The strong cut of his jawline, the way his dark hair catches just enough of the light to soften it. His blue eyes, deep and unreadable, seem almost illuminated from within. He was dignified, almost otherworldly. And then she noticed the smallest things—the way his fingers, calloused from sparring practice and ink-stained from late nights writing so many words in his study, curled slightly at his sides, as if resisting the urge to reach for something. The steady rhythm of his breath, the way it made the fine fabric of his shirt shift against his frame. The quiet tension in his shoulders, the weight of his responsibilities he carries but never speaks of.
Something shifted in her chest, more strongly tugging at the sides of her soul.
Cassian is still for a moment, his gaze lingering on her before he exhales and turns his attention elsewhere.
"I thought deeply about your mention of something that your grandfather did to heal fractured minds." Cassian mumbled in embarrassment as his attention diverted to the stacks of notes and pretending that his attention was fully focused on them instead of Isabelle's piercing gaze.
"My grandfather believed that there was a way to reach your brain to not get as upset at memories." Isabelle crossed her arms and leaned back against the table where she had a complex set up. "It worked for quite a few knights. But it had a varied success level. Some people were more receptive of it than others."
"I have exhausted all other options." Cassian stopped pretending that his interest was within the many scribbles, instead, he looked directly at Isabelle with a twinkle of hopefulness.
"It is certainly an option." Isabelle fell into deep thought as she started thinking of a treatment plan for Cassian. "But I haven't yet exhausted all of the options. I think I am getting closer to potentially deriving a stable chemical that can help control moods."
"Is that what you're doing?"
"I was before you came." Isabelle smiled. I think I found a way of separating some of the mixtures into liquid and powder." Isabelle pointed at the two flasks. "I think I might find better reactants to speed up the process and purify the solution." She thought out loud. "But this has gotten further now than what Chiron was able to derive." A sigh escaped her lips. "But this is thinking ahead. Let's see what we can do in the meantime." She smiled back at Cassian who slowly approached her.
"This treatment…" Cassian cleared his throat. "The one for… when my mind…"
"Yes, let's talk about it. I'll tell you what you can expect and then you can decide what you wish to do with it." Isabelle pointed at the two armchairs in the adjacent room. "Did you try anything yet?"
"I've tried everything. From blood letting to herbal essences to magic rocks. To…" Cassian paused. "Whips and punishment to teach my body to stay away from it." He admitted. The light from oil lamps twinkled on his face, somehow emphasising the pain hidden in his eyes.
"Oh Cassian." Isabelle's lips parted in shock. It took her a moment to collect herself again. "The treatment my grandfather used is none of that. It doesn't cause any physical harm." Isabelle walked around and sat opposite Cassian. "I do encourage the use of herbal treatments. St John's wort and lavender." Isabelle shuffled on the chair closer to Cassian. "But there is a way that my grandfather found to be more effective than any herbs. It helps to rewire the brain and make the memories and flashbacks less emotive. But… it can be distressing, especially at first." Cassian nodded in agreement but there was fear in his eyes. "We can give it a go now and you can decide later whether it is worth continuing." Cassian nodded again but his movement was loaded with hesitation. Isabelle stood up and grabbed a device from the side. She gently pushed the needle and it started ticking rhythmically.
"This is a metronome. It can help you remember what is real."
"Isabelle… I…" Cassian shifted nervously. "When I get a flashback, I don't always know where I am and I sometimes react quite badly…" he spoke anxiously. "I don't want to hurt you."
"I will be cautious." Isabelle smiled. "Do not worry about me."
"I do not wish you any harm." Cassian repeated.
"If you react aggressively, I will remove myself from this room." Isabelle said confidently. "Trust me to keep myself safe and let yourself do what you need to do. You cannot keep it buried." Cassian nodded in agreement. Isabelle shifted into a comfortable position. "I know it might be a little weird, but focus your eyes on the movement of my fingers."
Cassian followed the instructions without a single objection. His willingness was laced with vulnerability and defeat of knowing that there was nothing else left for him to try.
Isabelle spoke calmly, at first bringing up topics of conversations that did not cause any negative feelings to get Cassian comfortable but then conversation shifted.
Isabelle fidgeted in discomfort as she heard Cassian's stories first hand. After a few minutes, Cassian sobbed as he spoke, loosing the view of what was real. Instead of aggression, he showed a heartbreaking sorrow.
Isabelle moved towards him and placed her hands on Cassian's jaw, holding his head up so he faced her. Tears run down his face and Isabelle's heart broke for him. She didn't care for her dignity as she held his face, feeling his sharp stubble under her fingertips. She would have never dared to touch him like this if she still pretended to be Adeline. But she was Isabelle and right now she didn't care about what was appropriate as Cassian's wellbeing was her priority.
"Isabelle…" he said her name in the most agonising way. "I am so sorry." He tried to swallow back his tears.
Isabelle's eyes welled up and she wiped his tears with her thumbs. The air between them is thick with something unspoken, something that hums just beneath the surface, waiting to break. It crackles like the charged space before a storm, like a spark hovering just above a flame.
"You are so incredibly brave." She said quietly. "And strong. Never apologise to me again for this. Never. Because there is nothing to apologise for." Isabelle can hear her own heartbeat, a steady drum in her ears, and she swears Cassian is close enough to hear it too.
"You are so incredible. I cannot fathom why you're my wife."
"Because my father promised you a wife and I was there." Isabelle chuckled. "But perhaps, because I didn't protest marrying the hero who fought so hard to protect my people. People you did not know and who were not yours to save. Perhaps, I wanted to see who that hero was."
"You must be disappointed."
"Not an ounce of disappointment." Isabelle spoke truthfully.
His eyes are locked onto hers, deep and burning, and for once, there's no carefully placed words to break the moment apart. There is only him—his breath, shallow and steady, his hand lifting just slightly before hesitating, fingers curling as if resisting the pull.
Isabelle feels it everywhere. The heat radiating from him, the scent of parchment and chypre and something distinctly Cassian. The way the light shifts just enough to catch in his dark hair, the way the muscle in his jaw tenses as if he's fighting something within himself.
And then—movement. Not much, just enough. His fingers brush hers, barely there, but the contact is electric, sending a jolt straight through her.
Before she could react, Cassian leaned forward and his lips crashed into hers. She felt panicked but she didn't fight him.
His lips were warm, salty from his tears, and reassuring. Isabelle closed her eyes and let Cassian kiss her.
Cassian kiss felt like autumn leaves falling onto Isabelle's lips, like a shower of flower petals, or like a warm summer rain.
Cassian moved away, panting. Isabelle struggled to calm her own breath and the heart that wanted to break free from her chest.
"Thank you." Cassian uttered first. Isabelle struggled to speak and nodded instead. Cassian reached for her hands and kissed the back of each. "I am sorry that you're seeing me like this."
"Cassian, I want you to share your burdens with me. I am your wife and I want to be someone you feel comfortable showing all of your sides with. It is my dream…" Isabelle paused as she caught herself saying out loud what she felt, still surprised by her words. "It is my dream that you trust me enough to show me yourself in ways that others do not see you. I am seeing corners of your soul that you bear naked to me and I know that this is safe with me."
"I still can't believe that you're my wife." Cassian uttered leaning forward and resting his forehead against Isabelle's. His closeness was breathtaking. "And I cannot believe how incredible you are. You are so kind hearted and…" he smiled "I am so glad I have married someone who can be as much of my friend as a wife."
"And I cannot fathom it that you're my husband." Isabelle said quietly, not moving away from him. "With your strength and bravery, with your sheer power and will. And with that you still show me your care."
"I love you, Isabelle." Cassian said softly. Isabelle opened her mouth but she caught herself before she replied. She was not ready to admit to the growing feeling within.
"Thank you for your love." She replied with fluttering feeling in her stomach. "And thank you for letting me into your life."
Cassian planted another soft kiss on Isabelle's lips before hesitantly moving away. Their kiss breaks, but the tension doesn't fade. Cassian's hand is still tangled in the fabric of her sleeve, his thumb absently brushing against her wrist. There was a veil of awkwardness between them as neither knew what to do next. There was yearning for more but it already felt like they crossed the invisible boundary between them.
Isabelle could still feel the ghost of his lips against hers, the heat of his touch lingering on her skin.
"It has gotten rather late." Cassian spoke as if trying to lighten the air between them, but his voice is softer than usual when he finally speaks. But Isabelle sees the way his fingers twitch at his sides, as if resisting the urge to reach for her again. Sees the way his chest rises and falls a little too quickly.
She tilts her head, narrowing her eyes seeing through him with ease. But she nods in agreement.
"Indeed." She nearly whispered as if afraid of breaking the sacred moment. Cassian stood up, slowly, as if unfolding from under the heavy air that still weighted him down, and offered his hand to help Isabelle. She placed her fingers, so small and slim in comparison, letting Cassian lift her up. Her attention was forced back to the room, to the alchemist equipment she found in corners and in Chiron's laboratory, ensuring that everything was put away safely.
Cassian awaited patiently until she was done and continued to escort her to her chamber.
He looked longingly at the last of silver white waves disappearing behind the door, but he still felt elevated from the very daring thing he did. The very thing that transformed their relationship beyond friendship.