My hand idly toyed with the object I held, an ancient and rusted pin shaped like a star. It was about the size of an old hundred-rupiah coin, bearing a carved wayang on its side. My gaze fixated on the deep etchings and coarse scratches that encircled one of its sides, which seemed to form some kind of inscription.
These letters were not from any familiar alphabet; they resembled ancient script. The markings were too precise and flawless to be dismissed as mere scribbles.
At the very least, I knew this wasn't Javanese or Sundanese script, for I had some knowledge of both, though not deep enough to truly understand them. This writing wasn't Japanese, Chinese, or Korean either. Perhaps it came from some far-off land, or perhaps from another world altogether. I couldn't say. The limitations of my knowledge made my head ache the more I pondered it.
"Hey, what are you doing standing there, you fool!? Aren't you cold? If you're looking to die again, fine! But don't expect me to help you!" Dimas called from afar.
"Sorry, wait for me!" I quickly stuffed the star-shaped pin into the back pocket of my trousers and hurried after the man who had already started down the narrow path leading back to the camp. It wasn't much different from the last time; I found it somewhat difficult to traverse the stony trail, entangled with roots, but at least this time, I managed to pass through it quicker, merely following the rhythm of Dimas's steps ahead of me.
When we arrived at the camp, the scent of grilled fish hit my nose, awakening a hunger within me, countering the chill that clung to my wet skin. By the campfire, Kak Indra placed several freshly grilled fish onto a plastic plate and began preparing to add more to the grill above the glowing embers. Kak Shella was the first to notice our arrival.
"Oh, you're back? Wait, Dimas! Did you go to the river to wash clothes or bathe?" The surprise on her face was clear as she looked at us. "Oh my goodness, Anggi! Why are you wet too?"
"It's all this fool's fault! He can't swim but insisted on playing in the water. So, I had no choice but to save him when he almost drowned earlier," Dimas replied curtly, clearly vexed. He even snorted in front of me.
"You should have just let him drown. Don't bother saving someone who's looking for death!" Kak Indra added, sitting beside the crackling fire.
"I would have, but I remember he still owes me a hundred thousand. So, reluctantly, I had to save him," Dimas retorted, pointing an accusing finger at me from several meters away.
His words were sharp. It would be a lie if I said they didn't hurt my feelings, but I didn't take them to heart. I knew well enough that he didn't truly mean them. I understood this man better than anyone. Although his demeanor was rough, he was deeply caring. If he hadn't been, he wouldn't have saved me from drowning earlier, only to scold me afterwards for not worrying about myself. His harsh exterior was merely a shield for the tenderness within.
One more thing: I would repay that debt later.
I walked to my tent with the other female students, retrieved a change of clothes from my bag, and quickly changed out of my wet attire. I didn't forget to take the mysterious star pin and tuck it into the pocket of my new, dry pants. Fortunately, no one else was in the tent, so I could change without worry. I felt a slight embarrassment about my small, boyish body and preferred not to be seen by others. Unlike Dimas, who casually changed his clothes right outside the tent, as if showing off his physique. It was the other girls, like Kak Shella, who turned their faces away in embarrassment.
After changing, we joined the others near the campfire, where all the Tae Kwon Do members had gathered. There was a man helping to grill the fish. He was Kak Erik, a classmate of Kak Indra, often referred to as 'The Javanese' because of his homeland. There were also Vian and Vani, the identical twins who were in my year. Their similarity was so uncanny that no one could tell them apart.
The atmosphere grew more lively and joyous. In the middle of our shared cooking, there was always someone cracking jokes or making witty remarks. The topics of their humor varied, but the most frequent subjects were funny past events from the Tae Kwon Do extracurricular activities. As a newcomer, I found these stories fascinating. I had no idea Kak Indra had once worn a cheerleader's uniform.
It all started when he challenged a senior to a duel and lost. As punishment, he was forced to wear the cheerleader's outfit. Kak Erik, who had been part of the club from the start, showed everyone a photo of Kak Indra in that "bling-bling" costume.
Can you imagine it? The fierce, muscular man dressed in a super cute outfit. Everyone burst out laughing. Meanwhile, Kak Indra, holding back his shame, tried to chase after and hit the one who had taken the photo.
With all the laughter and camaraderie, I felt a warmth in my heart, a rare feeling I seldom experienced. I was truly fortunate to be accepted into their circle. It was a feeling that would carry me forward.
About an hour later, dinner was over. Some people were assigned to wash the dishes, while others tidied up the firewood that had been gathered. As for me, I was left in the 'do-nothing' group, staying in place. Perhaps it was because my help wasn't needed, or maybe I would just be a burden to others, so I was assigned to this task.
Dimas approached me after finishing with the firewood. He sat beside me on the mat, grabbed a bag of corn chips from Kak Indra, and began eating without hesitation. He offered me some.
"No, thanks! I'm full."
"Oh really? What a shame! These chips are really good!" His words were muffled as his mouth was full.
"That's MY chips you're eating!" Kak Indra, displeased that someone had stolen her food, snatched the chips back.
"You're so stingy! I just wanted to ask!" Dimas, ignored by Kak Indra, huffed indignantly behind her back. Seeing this, I couldn't help but laugh. It was amusing how Dimas sulked like a child being scolded by his mother.
"Why are you laughing?" Dimas raised an eyebrow at me.
"Nothing. What's wrong with laughing?" I replied with a faint smile. He fell silent, staring at me intently, as if there was something about my face that caught his attention. I grew uncomfortable under his gaze. "What is it? Is there something strange on my face?"
"I've spent so much time with you, but let me just say it this time."
"What do you mean?" I wondered inwardly.
"Your face is actually quite pretty, you know," he said, serious. "I'm sure if you tried dressing up like a girl, you'd have many men attracted to you."
"What's wrong with you!? Are you saying I look like a man now!?" I protested loudly, hitting his arm beside me.
A loud laugh escaped from him. "Relax! I'm just kidding. It's just so funny seeing you get all mad like that. I can't stop laughing. It's so hilarious!"
Dimas's uncontrollable laughter drew the attention of everyone else. Fortunately, the conversation was just between us. If it had spread, I would have been mortified. I might have followed Kak Indra's example and chased him, trying to hit him for teasing me.
Dimas Permana. This man was truly a lady's man. I might have fallen for him if he had just said his first line without the teasing. It wasn't fair! Did he think he could flirt with women just because of his handsome face?
Luckily, he always added sarcastic remarks or teasing words whenever he flirted with me, so I didn't fall for his charms. Sometimes, I wondered if Dimas did this to maintain our friendship, drawing a line before crossing it. On the other hand, I had to ignore him to avoid any romantic feelings from sprouting between us. Although, at times, his teasing and smile made me blush.
I was curious. How far did Dimas go with teasing the girls around him? Because of my closeness to him, I became the target of jealousy from other female students at school. It didn't matter if they were my peers or seniors, there were always girls who openly expressed their dislike for me. Even though I hadn't done anything to them.
Because of this, I sometimes became the victim of their bullying. I had grown thick skin when it came to their snide remarks like 'think you're pretty' or 'slutty girl.' I intentionally ignored them, thinking they would eventually get bored if I didn't respond. But I was wrong; they resorted to violence, pushing me down the stairs, yanking my hair, or even splashing me with tap water. Yet, I couldn't do much to fight back, fearing they would only escalate the bullying.
When I had given up and resigned myself to it, Dimas always appeared to help me out of those situations. He would stand before me, halting the bullying, even threatening to report them to the teachers. The bullies, frightened, would quickly flee, leaving me alone.
To me, Dimas was like a superhero in a movie. Having grown up with him, I started to admire him. He was no longer just a friend; he had become my closest companion. During this time in high school, I spent more time with him, whether traveling together or simply exchanging words. Even though I knew it would only lead to more girls becoming jealous of me, I couldn't stay away from my friend.
However, I also realized that I couldn't always rely on Dimas to protect me. I had to learn to protect myself if I were to stand on equal ground with him. That was why I followed Dimas into joining the Tae Kwon Do extracurricular. It would not only strengthen my body but also harden my spirit.
"H-Hey, fool!" Suddenly, Dimas's voice broke through my thoughts. He shook me by the shoulders, disrupting my reverie. When I turned to look at him, his startled expression was fixed on my back pocket. "Look!"
I followed his gaze and saw a brilliant flash of light shining from the pocket of my trousers. It was so bright that it pierced through the fabric. Reflexively, I jumped to my feet. Then I remembered that the star-shaped pin was tucked away there after I had changed clothes. As I carefully reached to retrieve the object, I could feel the eyes of everyone around me upon me. It was strange. I had thought no one could see the light from the pin except myself.
The golden light from the pin grew blinding, casting a glow that illuminated the dark trees. Even the campfire, which had been the source of light before, seemed insignificant in comparison. I had to shield my eyes with my other hand as the brightness overwhelmed me.
"What is that, Anggi?" Kak Shella asked, shielding her eyes from the glaring light.
"I don't know. I just picked it up."
Everyone fell silent, staring in awe at the light emanating from my grasp. I, too, was stunned. It shone brighter than when it had been at the bottom of the river.
"I feel a bad omen from that object. You must return it to where it came from!" Kak Shella said, her face marked by concern. She bit her lower lip.
I turned to the others around me. Though no one spoke, their faces shared the same silent opinion. Even Dimas nodded his agreement. Perhaps, from the start, I should have never picked up that strange object out of mere curiosity.
Due to the uneasy atmosphere, I decided to follow Kak Shella's suggestion. I gripped the star-shaped pin tightly and resolved to return it to the river. The light still seeped through my fingers as I began to walk toward the water.
Suddenly, a sharp, searing pain struck my palm. The hand holding the pin felt like it was on fire. I reflexively opened my hand, but the pin seemed to melt into my skin. I froze in disbelief, my eyes fixed on the strange sight as the pin began to sink into me.
Moments later, the object vanished, leaving behind a burning sensation on my hand, with hot steam continuing to pour from my body.
"W-What is this?!" I cried out, unable to bear the searing pain as it spread across my hand, my body trembling in agony. I screamed, tears pouring from my eyes, collapsing to the ground. The hot steam enveloped me.
"Anggi!!"
The first to reach me was Dimas. He grabbed my hand and tried to douse it with water. But instead of soothing the pain, the fire inside me only grew stronger, spreading across my arms and body. Others rushed to pour water over me, but it was as though they were fueling the flames. The heat consumed me completely.
I rolled on the ground, screaming in pain. My body felt as if it were being roasted on a blazing grill, and that image was almost realized. My skin turned crimson, not like someone who had been sunbathing, but like charcoal with glowing embers. In some places, the burned skin began to crack and peel.
The pain spread rapidly through my body and into my organs. I couldn't move or scream anymore. My body went numb. My vision was consumed by darkness. The last thing my nose could smell was the scent of burning flesh.
"Why is this happening to me? What have I done to deserve this?"